What is a "Slut Dress"?

[LisaB]

You can delete the thread. Lisa. Geez, I just asked about the name of a dress.

Edited because I realized when I took the dog out and threw the ball for him a couple of times that what I just said could be considered a personal attack. Oops. I'm sorry.

I saw this thread get created and I wondered at the time what grown man does not know the word "slut". Then I realized that I'm a woman, of course I know the word and that perhaps this man really didn't know. So I left the thread as it was.

Then I started reading comments within it and the discussion that followed and became hopeful because this is a discussion that desperately needs to happen .... for so many reasons!

Then I thought about the Hive, our brand, our mission statement and the fact that we are family friendly, that we stand behind education, that were are a COMMUNITY gathered around a common interest. So I changed the title of the thread to something more educational and moved it to the Meadow where it can be free of the constraints of other topic forums.

Then I reflected on the meaning of the word "community" comm=many unity=one and realized that part of what we are here to do AS a community is to support each other even if we disagree.

I have been hearing that we are "too nice" over here. Is that even a thing? "Too nice" like "too comfortable" or "too happy". Doesn't compute. Sorry, not sorry.

That does not mean abusive and destructive behavior will be supported at all. If a person is destructive and constantly looks to make waves and push lines, that person will be dealt with accordingly.

Please resume your discussions on this topic and please keep it respectful. There are children listening.

 

[eclark1894]

Edited because I realized when I took the dog out and threw the ball for him a couple of times that what I just said could be considered a personal attack. Oops. I'm sorry.

I saw this thread get created and I wondered at the time what grown man does not know the word "slut". Then I realized that I'm a woman, of course I know the word and that perhaps this man really didn't know. So I left the thread as it was.

Then I started reading comments within it and the discussion that followed and became hopeful because this is a discussion that desperately needs to happen .... for so many reasons!

What discussion? Seriously, did anyone aside from Janet actually read the question I asked? And for the record, yes, I know what the word "slut" means. Not the question I asked though. Janet answered my question in one post. I thanked her and the thread could have ended right there as far as I'm concerned.

 

[eclark1894]

Yes, but Lisa moved the thread to the Meadow, so she obviously felt it deserved more exposure. I happen to think it's an interesting topic, even if that wasn't your initial intention.

With all due respect to Lisa, it sounded like I was being blamed for something I didn't do.

 

[Miss B]

I'm sorry you feel that way, as I'm sure that wasn't Lisa's intention. I, for one, am enjoying this discussion. The one thing about our society is the differences in the way we feel about things. I think our society would be pretty dull if we all thought the same way about everything, so having a thread like this for folks to post what they think about the word slut is interesting.

 

[eclark1894]

I'm sorry you feel that way, as I'm sure that wasn't Lisa's intention. I, for one, am enjoying this discussion. The one thing about our society is the differences in the way we feel about things. I think our society would be pretty dull if we all thought the same way about everything, so having a thread like this for folks to post what they think about the word slut is interesting.

By all means, then, knock yourselves out. I've already had this conversation, ironically enough on the old DAZ Commons forum. The discussion started out benign, but somehow degenerated to a point where I'd hate to see this thread go. At any rate, I've got my answer. I'm out. And if you're smart, you'll lock this thread.

 

[Hornet3d]

What discussion? Seriously, did anyone aside from Janet actually read the question I asked? And for the record, yes, I know what the word "slut" means. Not the question I asked though. Janet answered my question in one post. I thanked her and the thread could have ended right there as far as I'm concerned.

I accept that what the OP asked was answered and then the thread took a turn clearly neither wanted or foresaw but how many threads here actually stay on topic. If the criteria here is that a thread is, or can, be deleted once the original question is answered there would be a lot a lot less threads and a lot of information lost. For example I started a thread a day or so ago asking for help with Poser 11 giving a fatal error when I tried to launch it and I got the answer in the very next response from Janet but others added information and their views. I have also added to that thread, not only thanking Janet, but saying how impressed I was with SM tech support. Now it may be a very different thread but the principle is the same, why delete or close any thread just because the question has been answered. In most cases threads will effectively close themselves as people will just stop responding and that will happen when the community feel they have nothing left to say.

I am all for a thread being closed under the terms Lisa has laid out and I have been on forums that do not close threads when they have become personal, destructive and abusive that is why I am here and not part of that forum. I am not the sharpest knife in the box but I can't say I have seen anything in this thread,so far at least, that can be deemed destructive and abusive. There are views different to mine but that is very different.

I have added to this thread but I tried very hard to put my view across remembering that it could be viewed by children which is why I refrained from using emotive language and tried to lay out my thoughts without going into great detail. Would I be upset if the thread was close, well no not really, but I also feel there is little reason to do so and I am truly interested in other views. I guess what I am really saying is I am for free speech so long as it is not personal, discructive and/or abusive.

I will add once more the comment that this thread has gone on a journey not intended or envisaged and I blame no one for anything but I do think it is an interesting thread.

 

[Bonnie2001]

I, for one, am enjoying this discussion...

Me too. I'm finding it interesting to read opinions from different parts of the world where our different cultures play a part in our experiences.

 

[Hornet3d]

By all means, then, knock yourselves out. I've already had this conversation, ironically enough on the old DAZ Commons forum. The discussion started out benign, but somehow degenerated to a point where I'd hate to see this thread go. At any rate, I've got my answer. I'm out. And if you're smart, you'll lock this thread.

If you have already had a discussion such as this go sour I can understand your concern but I feel certain that Lisa and the rest of the Hivewire team will not let that happen. Just because a conversation has the same starting point does not mean it will end the same, particularly when the people in conversation are different to other conversations. In fact I will go further and say that I think Hivewire is one of the few places where a conversation such as this can take place without such a drastic end.

 

[Hornet3d]

Me too. I'm finding it interesting to read opinions from different parts of the world where our different cultures play a part in our experiences.

I agree, we both live in countries geographically very close to each other and yet there are some very big differences as you often point out. The number of countries represented here must be vast and the cultures very different which is why I am so interested in other people's views. As a job I travelled quite a lot and the people I met were very varied and meeting them was the one part of travelling I liked. These days International travels are well behind me but I can at least see the views of many parts on the world from the comfort of my room here at Hivewire.

Changing the subject slightly, it is 2 o'clock in the morning here, can't you sleep either?

 

[Bonnie2001]

No I can't sleep either Hornet. I went to bed around 10pm as I have school tomorrow. Fell asleep quickly but woke up about an hour ago. Now I'm just on the internet and also texting some of my friends who are still awake.

 

[Hornet3d]

No I can't sleep either Hornet. I went to bed around 10pm as I have school tomorrow. Fell asleep quickly but woke up about an hour ago. Now I'm just on the internet and also texting some of my friends who are still awake.

Similar story here except the school bit but then I am driving my wife to work within the next two hours so not much point going back to bed.

 

[Bonnie2001]

I think I'll go back to bed now and try get some more sleep. Chat with you all later!

 

[caisson]

Need to sleep too but decided to post. I had a late awakening to gender & privilege issues, now I see them everywhere

So, my opinion - it's a derogatory word with a long history of being used abusively against women. For a man it doesn't carry that weight because no-one is going to use it to try to shame, control, hurt or humiliate a man.

Some people will see that in a thread title & automatically find it provocative, even offensive. Sometimes words matter to the extent that they drown out the intention.

 

[quietrob]

Personally, I blame Marcia Brady! It's all her fault.

I was always more partial Jan Brady. Maybe it's because we're the same age. By the way, Marcia Brady was emulated by the school girls in my classes. My eighth grade year of school, the changed the rules so girls could wear pants. Until then, they had to wear a skirt. This was replaced by what was called "Hot Pants" which today would be considered conservative.

 

[quietrob]

Ever heard never wear patent leather shoes because they reflect and boys will see up your skirt that way?

Heh! If there was an angle we'd figure it out. The only one that got busted as far as I know was one boy that attached mirrors to his shoes.

 

[Satira Capriccio]

I think it's hard for some people to differentiate between clothing that is provocative ... to an extreme for some of us ... and the person who is wearing that clothing. I certainly wouldn't think a preteen is presenting herself as sexually available because she's wearing clothing that sends that message. In most cases, she wants to wear that clothing because it's being marketed to her, others her age are wearing that type of clothing, and she sees it on the performers she idolizes. I think that even goes for older teens too.

What's incredibly funny to me is that even though the mini skirt was all the rage during the 60s, those most associated with "free love" tended to dress in long granny style dresses, long skirts, or well patched loose or billowy jeans/pants. They might bare their midriff, but more skin than not was covered. In many cases, you couldn't even tell which were the girls and which were the boys because they dressed the same and both had long hair.

What bothers me about "slut wear" is that it's like women only have value if they dress provocatively and that whole concept that if you want to sell something, you need to make it sexy (or have a sexy thing in practically nothing draped over your product). I mean ... I'm sorry. Much as I think a Lamborghini is a most amazing looking car that in an earlier time in my life, I'd love to drive, it's not at all sexy! Sleek, awesome, powerful, fast (that fast is why I no longer have any interest in driving one because my goal is to never get another speeding ticket in my life ... and I'm on a 25+ year streak). Sure. But sexy? Not even if you put it in a skimpy bikini.

Hot is another word that annoys the heck out of me when it's applied to people, cars, dishwashers, washer/dryers, or any of a bazillion other products. Hot isn't sexy. It's not even enjoyable! It's miserable. And the very last thing I want when it's hot is to be skin to skin with someone else!

One picks up a lot of pet peeves after 60 decades!!!

 

[Miss B]

What's incredibly funny to me is that even though the mini skirt was all the rage during the 60s, those most associated with "free love" tended to dress in long granny style dresses, long skirts, or well patched loose or billowy jeans/pants. They might bare their midriff, but more skin than not was covered. In many cases, you couldn't even tell which were the girls and which were the boys because they dressed the same and both had long hair.

Haight-Ashbury! I spent 3 summers ('67-'69) in San Francisco, and remember the Summer of Love.

 

[quietrob]

Hot isn't sexy. It's not even enjoyable! It's miserable. And the very last thing I want when it's hot is to be skin to skin with someone else!

One picks up a lot of pet peeves after 60 decades!!!

I think I can agree with most of what you said, except for the two last lines. To each their own, in that case. It's like being cool. Originally, it's a slight. "That person was cool to me." Meaning iced out. Now it's a compliment that has lasted the test of time. Cool under pressure. That person is sooo darn cool." I think it was even applied to a camel to sell cigarettes. Warm stayed warm but hot as in the person is so stunning that raise one's body temperature is easily understood and is also standing the test of time. Personally, I don't mind skin to skin when it's hot or they're hot. Except holding hands. No one likes sweaty hands.

The last line, don't worry about it. I've done that too.

Haight-Ashbury! I spent 3 summers ('67-'69) in San Francisco, and remember the Summer of Love.

I lived on 888 Oak Street in 1967. I'm sure that is quite near Haight-Ashbury. Perhaps 20 minutes or so. I was aware of the Summer of Love and wanted in. However, my mother wasn't having it. How dare she tell a seven year old daredevil adventurer what to do?

 

[Miss B]

I was aware of the Summer of Love and wanted in. However, my mother wasn't having it. How dare she tell a seven year old daredevil adventurer what to do?

~ROFL~ I was in the right age bracket, but never really got into the hippie scene, even though Greenwich Village, down in lower Manhattan, was all hippies back then as well. Haight-Ashbury didn't have a monopoly on the hippie scene.

 

[Deleted member 325]

Bet he's never been referrred to as wearing slut wear though.

In my opinion the word slut along with several others should go back to its original meaning and stop being used to describe a person or what they are wearing, I often feel its more demeaning to the user than those its addressed to.

True.
In Honesty I was more aiming my response in reference to Hornet3D's mention of not seeing Viki go into battle in a Bikini. As a general rule I would tend to agree with that sentiment - but then it hit me (mainly because I have been doing a lot of Savage and Jungle themed images lately) that there are a number of Male heros in pop culture and literature through the ages who go into conflict in little more than a loin cloth, and maybe bracers/armlets. Though the skimpy armor for female characters does seem way overdone at a glance - I just wanted to provide a seldom considered contrast.