I have not said much recently - after recent news. For that I am sorry. I have been deep in my own head dealing with problems that right now overwhelm me - I have been in a very dark place of late... for a long time really - this news did't really help. I had hoped Lisa would recover, and in time be back in these forums. I certainly did not know her as well as many others here, not enough to really say I was her friend or claim any right to grieve, that is probably likely on me and my own issues (I do not connect well or easily to people - I am certain this is not news to many). I do not think this was due to any failing or lack on Lisa's part. She was always evenhanded in dealing with me, even kind. I feel she maybe understood I had issues, as even in going back over old communications it is clear she tried to chose words and phrases to be clear and not cause unnecessary upset or confusion and seemed to sincerely try to resolve disputes and issues even when they did not directly involve her and were between other parties. She was always generous, in advice, action, and effort, reaching out a helping hand to fellow members of Hivewire3D, even when in past she may have been on opposing ends of an argument or thread. I feel she was a rare breed of person in this world, one that the world has far to few of to lose any, and her presence in this world and on these boards will no doubtedly leave an absence that will long be felt. With everything Lisa seemed to do she seemed to reach out and try to improve this world, even if one person at a time, one word at a time. I regret that I did not know her better for my part, and can only blame myself for being as reclusive and distant in online forums as I am in real life. I would like to think she considered me a friend, or at least an ok person. There really are no words I can post that I feel can offer comfort or solace to any who knew her well. All I can do is suggest that each and anyone whose life Lisa did touch try to pay her legacy forward and try to be better people than we are right now with each and every day moving forward. That each of us always strive to improve ourselves and to make the world a little better each day. That we try to reach out and embrace those that may seem left out, jaded, or misplaced with a welcoming and helpful hand because that seems to be how Lisa approached this forum, because we cannot know why they may be jaded or isolated or different, but we can try to find common ground in the things we share through our art, the software we use, and the fact that every human being on Earth desires a better world but may not know how to achieve it themselves.
I do not know what lies past the veil of life, and I am no longer certain what I believe. I do believe Lisa's suffering has ended and she is at peace now. I like to believe something I heard once, and that Death is the road to awe. It is my hope that those who have passed from this coil are rewarded for their deeds and actions and efforts to improve this world, and have no doubt that if this is so, Lisa is in a far better place now. I fear it is a place I will likely never know...I hope she will put in a word or two for me.
Lisa, May the flowers ever bloom for you inthe radiance of your light and the spectacle of colors this world has yet to know. May you know visions of Awe and Wonder we still can only dream of.
