Nah no shrink. Just natural longing to have experienced. You know, if not for photos i have dating way back to when they were both young on my house walls, I have no memories of them...either one of them. I remember them from their last moments or days here and living. Older memories before they died just do not come to me unless i look at older photos. I had them cremated as they wished and their ashes are in beautiful urns over my TV set with nice gold framed photos beside them to remember them by. To some it might seem morbid or that I have created some sort of weird alter to their memory but for me it offers some comfort. Instead of having to go to cemetary to bring commemorative flowers, on B-days or in commemoration of their deaths I light a 7 day burning candle as my own way of keeping their their memory close. When alive I swore I wouldn't ever abandon them when alive or forget them when dead and i kept that promise and in some way feel better about myself for it.Being young when a parent dies is both a blessing and a curse. I speak from the experience of someone who lost my father when I was just a baby. I have no pain of his death, but I have no memories of him either. I probably should see a shrink. It's amazing how his not being here for me affected my whole life.
Bascially the plan is, stuff the commercial side of things come October, but the freebies are something thats important to a lot of you out there.
I hear that and I'm going to talk to various people to see if we can come with some ideas so that the majority can be saved. Possibly enmass.
Nah no shrink. Just natural longing to have experienced. You know, if not for photos i have dating way back to when they were both young on my house walls, I have no memories of them...either one of them. I remember them from their last moments or days here and living. Older memories before they died just do not come to me unless i look at older photos. I had them cremated as they wished and their ashes are in beautiful urns over my TV set with nice gold framed photos beside them to remember them by. To some it might seem morbid or that I have created some sort of weird alter to their memory but for me it offers some comfort. Instead of having to go to cemetary to bring commemorative flowers, on B-days or in commemoration of their deaths I light a 7 day burning candle as my own way of keeping their their memory close. When alive I swore I wouldn't ever abandon them when alive or forget them when dead and i kept that promise and in some way feel better about myself for it.
After a loved ones death none of the things we do are about them but about our individual "self" in dealing with it all.
Yeah my sister though she won't admit it, has only come to visit me at my home 5 times in the past 8 years after the deaths. I suspect for same reason, her daughter has refused to come at all....says it creeps her out! Too bad modern folks fear that aspect of life. If they are taught as kids not to fear it and accept it as an integral part of life's journey, it would be easier dealing with the concept of dying for the dying as well as the surviving family members. It is otherwise devastating. .
Actually they put cremains in a plastic bag and then in a plain black plastic box with a lid for transport as part of the service. I chose tho put them in beautiful urns to make it look better in the apartment and the pretty framed photos beside them set them off.
Since my sisters kids are so squeamish, I have already picked my urn to make it easier for whomever would have to take care of stuff when I am gone. When I go it will be in my will to spread all our family ashes together. I have been saving cash so my remaining family can take a road trip cross country to mourh in a more creative way and bond as they collectively spread a few hand-fulls here and there at some of the prettiest parks or sea views.
I don't think I want anyone wearing me as an accessory.My Niece has some of my brothers ashes in a small glass vial made into a necklace, bit weird but I also kinda get it.
Okay, well, just a suggestion, but if you want to see your sister and her kids more often, why not simply store the urns somewhere unseen and where they won't encounter them during their stay. You can always return them to their rightful place once your relatives leave.
must have really loved him. I thought my niece loved me but apparently not the same way yours does. Kinda sad really. I admire your niece!My Niece has some of my brothers ashes in a small glass vial made into a necklace, bit weird but I also kinda get it.
must have really loved him. I thought my niece loved me but apparently not the same way yours does. Kinda sad really. I admire your niece!
I came across a similar idea recently. The ashes are part of a cross that the brother wears on a choker around his neck.My Niece has some of my brothers ashes in a small glass vial made into a necklace, bit weird but I also kinda get it.