ShellyW I am sorry for your loss. In my experience there is nothing so painful as the loss of a child. It's been 17 years for me and while I can't say you get over it, I can say you learn how to live with it.
I remember shortly after he died I got a phone call from a bill collector for the phone or electric ... one of the basic necessities. The lady on the phone was nasty and was doing her best to shame and fear me into paying right then and there. It was in that moment that I realized something that has stuck with me since. I went off on her saying something like "Go ahead and turn it off. Turn it all off! You think you can hurt me? My son just died. Everything else is nothing compared to the pain I feel right now. You and your threats cannot hurt me." Something to that effect anyway. I felt badly for her afterwards. She took s step back. She apologized. She offered me time and a plan to pay my debt.
That has stuck with me to this day. No matter what life throws at me and how challenging things can get, I do not fear. I have weathered the worst of storms. Everything else is, in comparison, a rainbow.
May peace be with you.