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Just a few prayers...
- Thread starter quietrob
- Start date
Glitterati3D
Dances with Bees
These threads are so very difficult for me.............I lost my husband very suddenly 7 years ago (it still feels like yesterday).
None of this is easy, Rob. And, while it may get less painful in time, it never gets easier to live without someone you were so close to for so long. My husband and I would have been married 31 years a few months after his death.
Keep your good memories close, let them carry you through this painful time.
Most importantly, right now, is be kind to yourself.
You are in my thoughts.
Hornet3d
Wise
I still miss my mother and father and that was eighteen years ago for my father, I suspect loosening a partner is even worse. The only thing I can say is be easy on yourself and remember every loss is extremely personal, by which I mean there are no rules on how you should feel. The pain won't go away because you will never forget the best you can do is come to terms with it but that will take time. Look after yourself we are all thinking of you and praying you find the strength you need.
Hornet3d
Wise
I originally liked this but unliked it as I personally felt uneasy doing so as it is so sad to hear but I am glad you shared your thoughts I am sure it will be a help. Take your own advice and be kind to yourself, I know it still hurts.
Very sorry to hear this.
It is 5 years ago I lost my mother to stage 4 colon cancer.
My thoughts are with you, no words can really ease the pain so I'm sending cyber hugs instead.
It is 5 years ago I lost my mother to stage 4 colon cancer.
My thoughts are with you, no words can really ease the pain so I'm sending cyber hugs instead.
quietrob
Extraordinary
I have a complete emotional diatribe that I could dispense but causing more pain in addition to my own is the last thing I would want. I'll just say that Hornet's words are very thoughtful, knowing that I'm not the only one who has gone through losing a love or a loved one makes me feel not so much alone. The loneliness is unbearable and her friends call me and say be strong but strong is the last thing I feel. I'm so lucky and blessed to have so many people who can feel another's pain and help with that pain.
@Faery_Light Cyber hugs count. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. We're not spring chickens as my mother says so for us, 5 years ago feels like yesterday. Without naming anyone, just let me say thank you to all once more.
It's day two and it's still a mess.
@Faery_Light Cyber hugs count. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. We're not spring chickens as my mother says so for us, 5 years ago feels like yesterday. Without naming anyone, just let me say thank you to all once more.
It's day two and it's still a mess.
No, you're not alone, though none of us can know exactly what you're going through. But I suspect most of us here have lost people dear to them. Not always a spouse, but others close to us. I don't think it ever is easy.
People don't know what to say when there is loss...even those of us who've been there, partly because what comforts one person may upset another.
I have lost people as they and I have aged, but also had a lot of loss at a young age, before I was out of my teens.
I remember, like it was yesterday, when I was 11 and my dad died very suddenly, people telling my 13 year old brother and me that we had to be strong for our mother. They meant well.. they were trying to help. I remember my wise cousin, 5 years my senior, telling us, as I'll tell you, that amidst such loss, you don't have to be strong right now.
People don't know what to say when there is loss...even those of us who've been there, partly because what comforts one person may upset another.
I have lost people as they and I have aged, but also had a lot of loss at a young age, before I was out of my teens.
I remember, like it was yesterday, when I was 11 and my dad died very suddenly, people telling my 13 year old brother and me that we had to be strong for our mother. They meant well.. they were trying to help. I remember my wise cousin, 5 years my senior, telling us, as I'll tell you, that amidst such loss, you don't have to be strong right now.
Hornet3d
Wise
I was 17 when I lost my grandfather, we were very close as he was a caretaker and odd jobs man and I spent the long school holidays of my youth helping him out, well I thought I was helping him at the time. The manner of his passing was horrible and protracted and I remember feeling guilty because part of me was glad when he died but only because I was pleased he would no longer suffer. Only years later did I discover that guilt and even anger can be part of grieving.
I remember like yesterday sitting around my father's bed with the rest of the family when we made the difficult decision to turn of the life support. Eighteen years on I cannot watch a drama on TV with someone on life support and I have to leave the room. Is this being strong, I have no idea, I just know that is how deal with it and how I manage to continue to cope.
Having spent around 10 years on a support line I have spoken to many people who have lost someone close, some spoke of similar feelings but every one had a different mix of those feeling and some had feelings that surprised and many that saddened me. Grief and how we deal with it is very personal, if we are lucky enough we find someway to cope to live each day and, again if we are lucky, we learn to cope a little better over time.
I sort of feel uncomfortable in saying that because this is about you and no one else but I just wanted to say you are not alone and also say do whatever you need to do right now. Alisa is right, you do not have to be strong right now, you don't have to be or feel anything.
Also don't worry about causing more pain, all any of us want to do is help you in any way we can. You have site mailed me on more than one occasions regarding my art but communication is two way. If you feel you want to dump on someone please feel free to do so just send me a mail. I know from my support days it is often easier to say something to a stranger than those close to you who are also hurting. It is a genuine offer for you to accept or leave, dependant on what you feel and what you want. You are not alone but at this point in time you and your well being is all that matters.
Be easy on yourself.
I remember like yesterday sitting around my father's bed with the rest of the family when we made the difficult decision to turn of the life support. Eighteen years on I cannot watch a drama on TV with someone on life support and I have to leave the room. Is this being strong, I have no idea, I just know that is how deal with it and how I manage to continue to cope.
Having spent around 10 years on a support line I have spoken to many people who have lost someone close, some spoke of similar feelings but every one had a different mix of those feeling and some had feelings that surprised and many that saddened me. Grief and how we deal with it is very personal, if we are lucky enough we find someway to cope to live each day and, again if we are lucky, we learn to cope a little better over time.
I sort of feel uncomfortable in saying that because this is about you and no one else but I just wanted to say you are not alone and also say do whatever you need to do right now. Alisa is right, you do not have to be strong right now, you don't have to be or feel anything.
Also don't worry about causing more pain, all any of us want to do is help you in any way we can. You have site mailed me on more than one occasions regarding my art but communication is two way. If you feel you want to dump on someone please feel free to do so just send me a mail. I know from my support days it is often easier to say something to a stranger than those close to you who are also hurting. It is a genuine offer for you to accept or leave, dependant on what you feel and what you want. You are not alone but at this point in time you and your well being is all that matters.
Be easy on yourself.
Terre
Renowned
Well said.People don't know what to say when there is loss...even those of us who've been there, partly because what comforts one person may upset another.
You have my support as well, Rob.
The Lord bless you, the Lord keep you, the Lord grant you a grace of healing and deliver you from evil.