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The Anchorage, Part 3
- Thread starter Lorraine
- Start date
McGyver
Energetic
Aww... A duckie... Uh, I mean a duck.
We used to have a pair of ducks that nested under a juniper shrub in front of the house.
Did you know an angry duck will hiss at you?
Neither did I.
It doesn't sound like a sound that should be coming from a duck.
It was my fault I got hissed at, as I accidentally discovered her nest while doing spring cleaning.
Otherwise the ducks were our friends... We used to call them the "Good Luck Ducks" because they showed up right about the same time we found out my wife was carrying twins (internally, we would of noticed them externally much sooner)... Their first brood was two chicks, so it was kinda symbolic.
I never chase ducks as they mind their own business and don't poop everywhere and act all belligerent.
I do chase geese.
Long Island has a bit of a problem with illegal Canadian Geese...
Apparently border patrol lets them sneak over from Canada to eat our delicious American grass and crap all over our delicious American lawns.
Most of the year you can't find the tiniest patch of grass uncrapped on by these Canadian interlopers, and to make matters worse, scientists are saying most of these freeloading illegal Canadians aren't even migrating back anymore.
I suspect these geese don't even pay taxes.
Some of these geese may be working together with Burmese Pythons (none of which are named Monty, I may add) and a network of South America Nutria (giant water rats) for unknown purposes.
Recent intelligence has shown that the BP and SAN have had meetings with cells of Chinese Mitten Crabs, Killer Shrimp and Reeve's Muntjac* in the UK and according to chatter (mostly from the muntjac, as crabs and shrimp are kinda quite) they are planning something big.
Probably something unpleasant or terribly inconvenient.
Think of that...
Inconvenient.
For years I've been warning of this goose threat and I say while we are going off the deep end globally, we go all the way.
The hell with reason.
For years I've been saying Long Island should have built a 30,000 foot high wall around itself to keep out these birds, some of which I'm sure are quite nice, but most aren't...
Back then people said I was nuts, the wall was too tall and airplanes would crash into it or that I wasn't orange enough to to say such stupid things.
But look at where we are today.
I think it's Sunday... I'm pretty sure it's the weekend.
Can you imagine that?
Despite that alarming development, I say we think not of our collective lawns... Not of the soles of our shoes, nor those of our children, defiled by goose feces...
Think of the golf courses and exclusive country clubs that suffer from this blight.
Think of the poor wealthy golfers who must golf around huge piles of festering goose dung.
Can we let them be mildly inconvenienced and still turn a blind eye?
Well, yeah.
But should we?
Well, yeah to that too... But...
It's not fair if we do and besides... these geese are part of a bigger threat...
I can't find my crayons right now, but if I could, I'd draw you the full picture of what this means...
And I guarantee it would have dinosaurs and aliens in it too.
Scary, am I right?
I'm not saying you should panic, but you really should.
You should also completely trust me, because at this point, is it really going to matter that much?
Seriously, I think not.
My solution is to build not a 30,000 ft wall between Canada (and one around the UK too, because they are okay and at this point on the same handbasket ride too)...
I say we build a wall to the edge of the Thermosphere in case the geese ever develope space suits, and we arm everyone with flamethrowers and tomahawks.
Sure it might make flying a plane a bit deadly or even slightly fatal, but it's a small price to pay for clean golf shoes.
But yeah...
Ducks... They are sure cute.
*Spellcheck knows "Muntjac", but still can't spell "cannibalism"... $&%# you Apple.
We used to have a pair of ducks that nested under a juniper shrub in front of the house.
Did you know an angry duck will hiss at you?
Neither did I.
It doesn't sound like a sound that should be coming from a duck.
It was my fault I got hissed at, as I accidentally discovered her nest while doing spring cleaning.
Otherwise the ducks were our friends... We used to call them the "Good Luck Ducks" because they showed up right about the same time we found out my wife was carrying twins (internally, we would of noticed them externally much sooner)... Their first brood was two chicks, so it was kinda symbolic.
I never chase ducks as they mind their own business and don't poop everywhere and act all belligerent.
I do chase geese.
Long Island has a bit of a problem with illegal Canadian Geese...
Apparently border patrol lets them sneak over from Canada to eat our delicious American grass and crap all over our delicious American lawns.
Most of the year you can't find the tiniest patch of grass uncrapped on by these Canadian interlopers, and to make matters worse, scientists are saying most of these freeloading illegal Canadians aren't even migrating back anymore.
I suspect these geese don't even pay taxes.
Some of these geese may be working together with Burmese Pythons (none of which are named Monty, I may add) and a network of South America Nutria (giant water rats) for unknown purposes.
Recent intelligence has shown that the BP and SAN have had meetings with cells of Chinese Mitten Crabs, Killer Shrimp and Reeve's Muntjac* in the UK and according to chatter (mostly from the muntjac, as crabs and shrimp are kinda quite) they are planning something big.
Probably something unpleasant or terribly inconvenient.
Think of that...
Inconvenient.
For years I've been warning of this goose threat and I say while we are going off the deep end globally, we go all the way.
The hell with reason.
For years I've been saying Long Island should have built a 30,000 foot high wall around itself to keep out these birds, some of which I'm sure are quite nice, but most aren't...
Back then people said I was nuts, the wall was too tall and airplanes would crash into it or that I wasn't orange enough to to say such stupid things.
But look at where we are today.
I think it's Sunday... I'm pretty sure it's the weekend.
Can you imagine that?
Despite that alarming development, I say we think not of our collective lawns... Not of the soles of our shoes, nor those of our children, defiled by goose feces...
Think of the golf courses and exclusive country clubs that suffer from this blight.
Think of the poor wealthy golfers who must golf around huge piles of festering goose dung.
Can we let them be mildly inconvenienced and still turn a blind eye?
Well, yeah.
But should we?
Well, yeah to that too... But...
It's not fair if we do and besides... these geese are part of a bigger threat...
I can't find my crayons right now, but if I could, I'd draw you the full picture of what this means...
And I guarantee it would have dinosaurs and aliens in it too.
Scary, am I right?
I'm not saying you should panic, but you really should.
You should also completely trust me, because at this point, is it really going to matter that much?
Seriously, I think not.
My solution is to build not a 30,000 ft wall between Canada (and one around the UK too, because they are okay and at this point on the same handbasket ride too)...
I say we build a wall to the edge of the Thermosphere in case the geese ever develope space suits, and we arm everyone with flamethrowers and tomahawks.
Sure it might make flying a plane a bit deadly or even slightly fatal, but it's a small price to pay for clean golf shoes.
But yeah...
Ducks... They are sure cute.
*Spellcheck knows "Muntjac", but still can't spell "cannibalism"... $&%# you Apple.
Mythocentric
Extraordinary
For ducks everywhere...and remember folks! A goose is a beautiful animal and is just a duck on steroids!*
* I have to say that. We get eight species of geese in these parts, some of which roost on our local beach and some of them are rather...er, belligerent!
* I have to say that. We get eight species of geese in these parts, some of which roost on our local beach and some of them are rather...er, belligerent!
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McGyver
Energetic
Well, I believe that was the point the late great Peter Sellers was trying to make when he spoke of sausages.
If you drink a good quantity of rum and listen to his bits about deading and sausages, you'll see a clear, although somewhat blurry, subtle reference to goose innuendo.
It's pretty clear that even back then he saw the goose threat for what it was... Whatever that is.
To be honest I've been drinking good quantities of rum and I feel like going out to the park and confronting a goose...
I'll probably just lay down on the floor and sleep for a while...
But if I were to go to the park, that's what I'd do if I saw a goose... As long as that goose was not out in the lake or too far away to hear me... and the ice cream truck was not there... because I like soft serve ice cream and the ice cream truck never stops for me, no matter how much stuff I throw at it to make it slow down...
Mythocentric
Extraordinary
Ah, you've got it there laddie! It's not for nothing that some Scottish distilleries employ them as guard dogs...erm...gooses/big duckies? And believe me, as someone who was once chased along the canal bank on my ATB by an angry goose hell-bent on disrupting my nether regions, that is not something I'd like to put to the test! The fact is, geese are great to watch...from a safe distance. Rather like lions, tigers, aardvarks, garlic sausage, great white sharks and stuff like that. Come to think of it, they are rather prone to attacking ducks and taking over their feeding grounds. Damned fowl...erm foul tricksy birds if you ask me, Sirrah!
Swans are rather keen on hissing too Terre. Makes sense really. After all what is a swan but a kind of anemic goose?
Swans are rather keen on hissing too Terre. Makes sense really. After all what is a swan but a kind of anemic goose?
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Terre
Renowned
Sadly, while I was making a joke about water birds, the next town up the road has just such a problem which is not a laughing matter: Cholera discovery forces Clovis pond to close
The annoying part to me is they should have already put up an actual permanent fence as water fowl and stagnant water are a combination guaranteed to be bad for human health. Draining and refilling the pond won't make a difference in the long run as the ducks and geese will just contaminate it again.
The annoying part to me is they should have already put up an actual permanent fence as water fowl and stagnant water are a combination guaranteed to be bad for human health. Draining and refilling the pond won't make a difference in the long run as the ducks and geese will just contaminate it again.
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Mythocentric
Extraordinary
As you say Terre, not a laughing matter but the stagnant water (and it's colour) should have been sounding alarm bells! Generally speaking, water birds like ducks and geese, etc are beneficial to the environment in that their activitives in cropping the plantlife and fertilising encourages the natural growth cycle of the pond or lake. Also of concern is their intention to refill the pond with filtered wastewater. With the best will in the world wastewater, no matter how well treated, is not pure and can contain many germs the filtration cannot handle. I would be interested to know if there is any form of runoff, natural or man-made, which would enable the pond to recycle itself naturally. That should be the highest priority before refilling to prevent any further stagnation in future. I sincerely hope the little guy and his friends are ok and wish them well!
By the signs around the pond, it already contained reclaimed wastewater. Those signs irrigation by reclaimed wastewater and warned people from drinking, swimming, and wading. But of course, signs never stop kids (or even adults sometimes) from playing in water.
The water does look rather green. It also lacks any kind of deterrents to keep Canadian Geese from enjoying the pond. Geese breast high shrubbery and grasses make Canadian Geese nervous, as well as providing hiding places for wildlife that could help control the geese population. Apparently, Canadian Geese prefer to walk into the water, so things like short fencing, high grasses, brush, and trees deter them from making the pond their home away from home.
Golf courses are mostly huge expanses of lawn with not much around the water hazards to deter geese. It is rather ironic that after destroying wildlife habitat to create golf courses, they have become all but unplayable because they are so attractive to the non migrating Canadian Geese.
Payback hurts.
The water does look rather green. It also lacks any kind of deterrents to keep Canadian Geese from enjoying the pond. Geese breast high shrubbery and grasses make Canadian Geese nervous, as well as providing hiding places for wildlife that could help control the geese population. Apparently, Canadian Geese prefer to walk into the water, so things like short fencing, high grasses, brush, and trees deter them from making the pond their home away from home.
Golf courses are mostly huge expanses of lawn with not much around the water hazards to deter geese. It is rather ironic that after destroying wildlife habitat to create golf courses, they have become all but unplayable because they are so attractive to the non migrating Canadian Geese.
Payback hurts.
Lorraine
The Wicked Witch of the North
Ducks bite, did you know that?! My daughter can tell you as does the scar on her foot. We have Canadian geese here too, another numbnut introduced menace, though I see they've actually changed the schedule to give them protected status. Can't save the endemic Hector's dolphin but they can save a non-native goose. Go figure.
Terre
Renowned
An invasive species that is very common in it's native range has been given protected status? *boggle*
Trying to save endangered species is why two invaders have been introduced into New Mexico: Barbary Sheep (or is it Iberian Ibex, been a while since I read about it) and Arabian Oryx.
Trying to save endangered species is why two invaders have been introduced into New Mexico: Barbary Sheep (or is it Iberian Ibex, been a while since I read about it) and Arabian Oryx.
Terre
Renowned
Signs tend not to be read no matter what the subject or situation. After 21 1/2 years in retail I just expect signs to reduce problems. They don't eliminate then no matter how well you mark things and word the signs.
McGyver
Energetic
Every time I talk about signage, I'm always reminded of an intern that we had one summer at the studio I worked at.
Me and the owner went to evaluate a large machine shop that was a candidate for a big job a client needed CNC machined.
We decided to take along the intern because it would be good experience for him to see how these places operate.
By the way, he was a real knucklehead.
At some point he walked off to look at something while we were talking to someone from the shop and of course when I turned around, I see him standing right in the middle of a spot marked off with huge yellow stripes and KEEP CLEAR painted on the floor, rotating yellow warning beacons, and two big yellow and black DANGER: KEEP CLEAR signs.
That guy was a source of many anecdotal stories.
But despite people like him, I'm a big promoter of signage and barriers.
Me and the owner went to evaluate a large machine shop that was a candidate for a big job a client needed CNC machined.
We decided to take along the intern because it would be good experience for him to see how these places operate.
By the way, he was a real knucklehead.
At some point he walked off to look at something while we were talking to someone from the shop and of course when I turned around, I see him standing right in the middle of a spot marked off with huge yellow stripes and KEEP CLEAR painted on the floor, rotating yellow warning beacons, and two big yellow and black DANGER: KEEP CLEAR signs.
That guy was a source of many anecdotal stories.
But despite people like him, I'm a big promoter of signage and barriers.
McGyver
Energetic
You know your house is old when you remove the ceiling light and find that the mounting hardware is connected to this...
That's an old gas pipe... And from the style of BX cable inside, probably 80 year wiring.
This started out as a simple replacement of an old fluorescent tube light fixture in the basement, which led to the discovery of a mysterious rotting cable... And now rewiring the kitchen.
I am so sick of the smell of hundred year old mouse pee.
And dust.
And splinters.
And mystery cables.
And plaster chunks in my eyes.
But on the plus side...
Eh...
So far there was no plus side, aside from the fact I found the rotty wires.
Well...
My wife got an extra new light out of this deal and I got to keep an ugly 1930s counter light we've been using as a night light.
It's totally horrible and plain, but it's incredibly solid and simple in design.
I've come to the part where I have to remove that pipe so I can install a real ceiling box.
It ain't coming out peacefully, I can tell you that... Zero clearance and obstructions everywhere.
Fun stuff.
By the way... Is there a way to make images like the one above smaller?
I feel like it's hogging up thread space.
If it's not a problem, never mind.
That's an old gas pipe... And from the style of BX cable inside, probably 80 year wiring.
This started out as a simple replacement of an old fluorescent tube light fixture in the basement, which led to the discovery of a mysterious rotting cable... And now rewiring the kitchen.
I am so sick of the smell of hundred year old mouse pee.
And dust.
And splinters.
And mystery cables.
And plaster chunks in my eyes.
But on the plus side...
Eh...
So far there was no plus side, aside from the fact I found the rotty wires.
Well...
My wife got an extra new light out of this deal and I got to keep an ugly 1930s counter light we've been using as a night light.
It's totally horrible and plain, but it's incredibly solid and simple in design.
I've come to the part where I have to remove that pipe so I can install a real ceiling box.
It ain't coming out peacefully, I can tell you that... Zero clearance and obstructions everywhere.
Fun stuff.
By the way... Is there a way to make images like the one above smaller?
I feel like it's hogging up thread space.
If it's not a problem, never mind.
Not sure it can be done with this one, but next time you want to upload an image, just choose Thumbnail instead, and then folks will just click on it to see the full sized image.