Uh, no...
I refuse to accept responsibility for that interpretation.
I most certainly was probably not referring to any recent historical figure possibly.
I could for example be referring to the Roman emperor Gaius who ruled from AD 37-41... Gaius didn’t like to read... you might be more familiar with him by his childhood nickname “Caligula” which as far as l know means either “little boots” or “little boy with lizards in his pants”... my ancient Roman quite bad... But most likely his nickname is a reference to a type of heavy duty hobnailed military sandal-boot known as a “Caliga”, because it is said that at the age of 2-3, he was outfitted in a tiny soldier’s outfit, complete with tiny caliga.
But since he also stuffed his braccae (pants/trousers/britches) with small lizards, it’s a toss up.
Caligula (the guy, not the footwear), hated reading and often had a servant read things to him... but I’m not sure anyone would think I was referring to him even if I was which I’m no longer sure about...
I think you might think I was thinking of the word “elect” or “elected”...
But I don’t even know how to spell that word and I’ve never even met it, so I couldn’t have meant that.
Even if I was implying “elected” I still could have been referring to Mr. Tiny Boots (Caligula)... I’m not even sure how anyone would interpret those four letters as implying the conclusion that was arrived upon unless one’s mind instantly went somewhere I wasn’t directing it to, but knew the way to on its own because even that mind could see some very obvious parallels and therefore was offended that I would be referring for some reason to some sort of accusations which I can not prove, and therefore decided to turn the whole thing around in a fashion I’m sure was meant to be satirical, and name a contemporary historical figure who showed great command of the written language as well as impressive oratory skills, when all along I may have been possibly actually referring to Caligula all along.
Which would be weird because although Roman emperors usually ascended to power when their predecessors accidentally fell on a pile of daggers or inadvertently ODed on poison, they liked to portray themselves as being chosen by the people, but they were not actually elected as the four letter may be referring to.... so while my reference to “elec...” may be misleading, it is presumptuous to presume that I meant anything about any current historical entity, either living or dumb... in fact the collection of randomly assembled words preceding “elec” was precisely...
“apparently one can go real far in this world without ever reading... you could even get elec...”
There are lots of words starting with “elec”... for example “electrolysis”, “electromagnetic”, “electrolytes” and “electrocuted”...
All of which can take you far...
If one gets electrolysis for really scary looking eyebrows, it could change their entire career by making them appear more aesthetically pleasing and thus they can go far on their less frightening appearance... although some people use their scary looking eyebrows to highlight their permanent scowl which is beneficial in certain occupations like gorilla whisperer or serial killer... to mention a few.
Anything electromagnetic has the potential to help someone go far... electromagnetism is the principal behind electric cars... if you’ve ever driven a Tesla, you’d agree the instant application of power to wheels is amazing (but apparently you should ask the owner before driving it)... even some aircraft carriers now have electromagnetic catapults that launch big heavy airplanes unlike the steam powered ones the minutemen used in the revolutionary war (or so I hear).
Electromagnets can be used to make powerful hammers and rams... think of how far people in the past would have gotten if they had those to ram ramparts?
Electrolytes like those found in sports drinks made out of alligators contain electrolytes...
They can help you go far... and fast too... I used to bring a bottle of orange flavored sports drink with me whenever I felt I might be chased by angry villagers... they replace the electrolytes you lose sweating as you run from perfectly innocent misunderstandings...
I used to like the orange ones, but lately I’m rather turned off by the color and flavor... I like the blue ones now because they look like Windex and other surface cleaners... People tell me... they say “you should really drink more blue liquids”... I like blue... it’s a tremendous color... lots of things are blue... George Jefferson one of our great presidents always wore blue... that big blue thing up above is blue... did you know that blue jays are blue?
Even electrocution can make you go far... surprisingly I’ve gotten electrocuted lots of times, fixing stuff, nibbling on extension cords (it seemed safe when the rabbit was doing it) or climbing over inconveniently placed fences.
It’s no joke when you see that warning sticker with the silhouette of a guy flying backwards from a big zappy lightning bolt...
There’s a reason they put that image on the stickers they place on zappy stuff...
One because it’s funny, two because it’s true and four because some people don’t like to read.
Some people can’t read either... even famous leaders... since that seemed to be a topic touched on...
Did you know that Charlemagne King of the Franks was illiterate?
I know that wouldn’t seem surprising to anyone who thought he was a frankfurter too... I’m not saying I did, but I might have...
The Franks were actually a bunch burly Germanic people who were known for their terrifying use of sausages in battle... they even have a city in Germany named after them, “Frankfurtertown”, which was where they manufactured all of their war sausage.
Charlemagne was king of them and somehow he managed to get that far while being completely illiterate... (his father being king Pepin the Short, probably helped a bit too)...
Yeah, he was illiterate... in fact he was electrocuted many times because he couldn’t read the warning stickers on extension cords, which back then didn’t have pictograms on them and were only written in Latin... Latin was a stuffy old language even back then and it took a long time for him to figure out that nibbling on extension cords was bad.
But Charlemagne wasn’t a complete idiot, in fact he actually respected literacy and eventually learned to read... he even liked the idea of education and supported it... in fact he supported both the arts and literature... I mean real art and literature, not just that nudie art and naughty limericks... he is known to have been a big fan of the writings of Augustin of Hippo, who was later made the first hippopotamus Saint.
Learning flourished under his rule and it’s often referred to as the “Carolingian Renaissance” due to the reforms set in place by “Charles the Really Great Guy” as he was known back then.
Compare that to other periods in history where people have actually gotten dumber.
During Charlemagne’s rule people actually got smarter.
Throughout history there have been many famous people who were either illiterate or sounded like that... and often there were great leaders who’s accomplishments were besmirched by their predecessors in an attempt to distract from their own poor leadership... Take for example the famous chocolate magnate William “Willy” Wonka... he acquired a perfectly successful chocolate empire and in just ten years managed to run it into the ground by replacing the competent human workers with a tribe of orange mutants he enslaved in his factory, he conducted insane experiments using dangerous chemicals to create deadly candies, tricked a bunch of children into a tour of his factory, only to murder them in bizarre ways and then saddled the survivor (and his grandfather) with ownership of the business so he could escape justice in his flying elevator which crashed into a low flying jet moments later, killing him and the boy and leaving the old man in charge who accidentally set the factory on fire three days later.
Even after his death Wonka’s ghost continued to blame the former owner, Barnabas Obinhopper for all his failures.
But none of this relevant because I would never inject political or historical accusations of illiteracy or mental laziness into anything I write.
In fact if anyone were to read (provided they or their helper monkey can read), anything I write they would see that I’m pretty honest about my insanity and that anything I say is either really batdooties insane or I’m in fact covertly testing the willingness of the reader to either accept what I’ve written as fact or check with credible source of reputable knowledge to see what percentage is batdooties insane and what is factual and in so doing, possible learn additional things they may not have been aware of that will enlighten them to exactly how interesting and batdooties insane the world is (and by extension the rest of this galaxy)(we won’t get into that part today)...
I know most people here already knew Caligula was named after a shoe and Charlemagne was king of Germanic sausages, but which of those two facts is true?
I talk like a raving lunatic, and some very famous people do too... but which is more ominous... the guy who admits he’s batdooties insane (I’m starting to like this word) and wants you fact check the crazy stuff he says... or the guy who tells you he is the smartest person who ever lived and you should just accept whatever he says as fact or you can’t have any leftover pizza?
Would you rather me pack your parachute or Caligula... ?
If you picked either of those two then I suggest you seek professional help.
Maybe a plumber or an experienced parachutist at least... I’ve never successfully folded a parachute and parachutes were not invented until the Wright Brothers-in-law made the first airplane in 1767, a few years after Caligula was killed in World War Two, so neither of us would have been a great choice.
I’d give it my best shot though... I’m sure it would be just fine... but it is what it is.
Either way, I wouldn’t trust anything I say, or pay attention to me... it’s all nonsense and clearly I’m a bad person who makes stunning accusations against long dead Roman emperors without a shred of concern for the feelings of those who look up to them.
I wouldn’t look for hidden meaning in anything I say.
So anyway, sorry, but that’s been over 1700 words which is my quota for today.
Thank you to anyone who’s read this far... Charlemagne would be proud of you.
And if I’ve offended anyone, it’s not what I’ve meant to do... I’m not really sure anything I’ve done, I’ve ever meant to do... stuff just happens.
There is a good chance that much of what I say is either satire meant to make you laugh or possibly dumb humor with a side effect which might make people possibly consider other possible possibilities.
Like for example whether or not wombats poop cubes which unscrupulous dice companies turn into high priced dice they claim are “plastic”.
You might think you know, but do you really know?
Really, really know?
Really?
If anyone is insulted by the possibility that all the dice you’ve ever used (particular the ones at casinos and in children’s board games) have been made out of painted, kiln fired wombat poop, then that’s not on me that’s on you.
You should also immediately stop putting dice in your mouth if that’s something you do.
That’s all... I want to end this before I reach two thousand words and I’ve mostly forgotten why I started writing this.
So have a great day and never blindly accept a Golden ticket from a crazy chocolate factory owner.
Or me for that matter.
Cheers.
