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The Anchorage, Part 3

AlphinaNovaStar

Energetic
Oh I worked therefore six hours but where did the other hours go. I was there from six to three not including half an hour sitting in a taxi in the mall parking lot.
 

AlphinaNovaStar

Energetic
I feel bitter. Apparently spending a day on the computer is considered doing nothing. Hmmmm? Guess the people at Pixar do nothing all day since they are on computers a lot. Unless we are talking about the janitors who are the only ones doing any actual work.
 

AlphinaNovaStar

Energetic
I am so frustrated. For one I left my phone at home. For two I am impatiently waiting for a computer to be sent to me. Three I need a motor research for an idea of mine. Creating 3D prints to sell right now seems to be more of a headache than it is worth.
 

Mythocentric

Extraordinary
Surprisingly, Tsuki enjoyed watching the Simon's Cat videos as much as I did!

They are fun, aren't they? I found out about it on one of the Kid's React video's and our Lucy loves them almost as much as her Shaun the Sheep videos. I hope Tsuki isn't getting any ideas though. Cats are mischiefs enough as it is! :)
 

McGyver

Energetic
Hello and good whatever time of day it is when you are reading this!

If you are really bored or perhaps trapped under a large shelving unit waiting for help to arrive, I thought I might share a few thoughts...

Before you start reading this I just want to point out that you shouldn't read this as it's probably not good for your health, mental wellbeing or property values... It's just a bad idea to read it.

Anyway... This is about Holiday stress...



I've probably mentioned this before, but I'm not a holiday sorta person...
I like the idea of peace on earth and goodwill to mankind, but the holidays drive me nuts.
I don't know if it's the insistent commercialism, the obnoxious shoppers or the fact that Krampus bit me when I was a lad, but I try and bear with it... ( I even dress up as a bear sometimes, but it doesn't help).
I suppose one of the things that really aggravates me is holiday music.
It's okay in the right context...
At a party where you have a keg of rum under one arm and can barely stand, perhaps... Or you are having fun and it's not loud and drowning out your thoughts...
If you have to say "What?... I can't hear you over Bing friggin Crosby singing about snow"... More than once, it's set to obnoxious level.

My wife loves the holidays, my kids love the holidays, but I'm like a cat in a crate full of lobsters.
Live lobsters...
Not cooked with butter... That's just a fat greasy cat.
It's my problem, my shortcoming, so I really try not to put down the holidays or ruin it for other people.

I'm getting to a point, so bear with me...

Grrrraaar!... Get it... Bear... Ehgh, anyway...

I know I mention Home Depot a lot too, and I'm aware that they are also located outside the U.S. as well (for those of you not in the U.S.), but to those who aren't aware of what Home Depot is...
(Well, one... Good for you!) it's a chain of large warehouse type do-it-yourself hardware/home building/lumber/annoying stores...
Because I build and fix stuff a lot I'm always going to them to buy stuff... In fact I end up having to shop a lot...
As great as the Internet is, there is a lot of stuff I have to see in hand to judge if it fits the bill.
Sometimes I even have to go to Target or Walmart to find stuff...
I really hate shopping.

One of the great things about Home Depot is that they are each the size of one of those World War One steampunk fantasy Zeppelin hangers and you get lots of exercise exploring them because they frequently decide that something like epoxy putty is better of in the gardening section then in paint...
Why are tarps in plumbing ?... Who knows...
Just search the 32 aisles in the store looking for lock lubricant... It's fun!
And nobody who works in the stores really pays much attention to were stuff is, so you really end up doing a lot of walking...
A lot.
Not just walking... driving too!
If you need three boiler sight glasses, there will be one in each of three stores.
You'll have to visit five store to find the three that they are actually in.
Because if you ask anyone who works there to check what stores have the item, they'll tell you that each of the nearest stores have two thousand of them, but when you arrive at said location, apparently two seconds before, there was a mad rush on whatever the item is and there is either one or none left.

It doesn't matter what the item is, they are rolling in them before you arrive, but when you get there the magic hardware goblins have just spirited them off moments before.

So that's the setup so far... I'm holiday challenged and I hate shopping, and most times I have to go to fifty stores to get the stuff I need...

This morning I had to go to four Home Depots... Bright and early.
Home Depots open at ungodly hours... Well before all the creepy things that haunt the night go back to their dark abodes...
Actually in fact, technically Home Depots never really close...
To customers, yes, but all night long the are filled with inventory people.
Doing whatever the hell inventory people do...
I have no idea what they do all night, but it apparently involves driving into stuff with fork lifts and stacking stuff precariously in as Doctor Suess-like a manner as possible on high shelves dozens of feet in the air...
I honestly picture all night drunken forklift wars and intoxicated surly loraxes tossing boxes up on shelves...
I don't understand why they call it the inventory shift because they are always out of everything... Maybe the inventory part involves noting they are out of something like say 3"x5 "mending plates and muttering "ain't that a damn shame" while waiting for your turn at forklift rugby...

Oh... I should also point out another key detail in case you have never been in a Home Depot...

Recently they have started adding these little devices with a camera, TV monitor and a chime to most aisles.
They stick out into the aisle about a foot, videotape you and go "Beeeee-beeee" as you approach.
I suppose the monitor is so you can see how annoyed you look when the thing goes "Beeeee-beeee" as you pass...
All six of them along the length of the aisle.
So where ever you go you are leaving a magical trail of "Beeeee-beeees" behind you.
I suppose the idea is to deter shoplifting by making it unbearably annoying to even walk down the aisle.
It's also great for raising your blood pressure as you are examining stuff on a shelf, as the slightest movement like breathing or digestion sets off the "Beeeee-beeee"...
So you'll be looking for router bits and hearing "Beeeee-beeee".... "Beeeee-beeee"... "Beeeee-beeee"... "Beeeee-beeee".... "Beeeee-beeee"...

And of course on the other side of the aisle there is a guy rolling a broken steel cart full lumber and steel garbage cans filled with cuckoo clocks and cannon balls...
So you hear "Beeeee-beeee-Beeeee-beeee-Beeeee-beeee-CRASH-Beeeee-beeee-Beeeee-beeee-CRUNCH-Beeeee-beeee-BANG-CRASH-Beeee-beeee-CUCKOO-CUCKOO-Beeeee-beeee-KABOOM-Beeeee-beeee-Beeeee-beeee-CRASH-BOOM- Meeeeow-BANG-Beeeee-beeee-Beeeee-beeee-Beeeee-beeee"!
Mind you, there is really nobody in the store save for a few sleepy employees, me and the guy who couldn't steer a cart to save his life (which is unfair since it's missing two of the six wheels and the other four are each tragically deformed in some manner)...

Fun fact...
Some sounds can drill into your very soul.
At 7:30 am the monitor really comes in handy so you can see what you look like as you become angered and outraged and that startling metamorphosis occurs which transforms you into the Incredibly Pissed Off Hulk.
It's quite informative.
There is almost no way of controlling that raging spirit that dwells within, because trust me Mr. McGee, that Christmas music isn't helping any and you aren't gonna like me very much when I'm listening to Christmas music...

Now pause for a second...

While all this is going on, in the opposite aisle there are a bunch of inflatable musical Santas, snowmen and for some inexplicable reason a friggin' Christmas dragon...
What branch of Christianity has a fricken dragon?
Whatever...
But each of these eight ginormous Macy's Parade float size contraptions is playing a slightly different version of jingle bells or Santa Claws is coming to town, at slightly different speeds at full volume...
Overlap that with "Beeeee-beeee-Beeeee-beeee-Beeeee-beeee-CRASH-Beeeee-beeee-Beeeee-beeee-CRUNCH-Beeeee-beeee-BANG-CRASH-Beeee-beeee-CUCKOO-CUCKOO-Beeeee-beeee-KABOOM-Beeeee-beeee-Beeeee-beeee-CRASH-BOOM- Meeeeow-BANG-Beeeee-beeee-Beeeee-beeee-Beeeee-beeee"...
ALL WHILE BING FRICKIN' CROSBY IS CROONING ABOUT A WHITE CHRISTMAS!!...

At this point I'm like a radioactive mutant fire breathing cat in a crate full of exploding porcupines...

The last thing I remember was the guy from the plumbing department who always smells of smoke and booze-sweat materializing in back of me and asking if I needed help...
Which is really pointless because he only takes you to the place you just said you couldn't find the item and looks for it there...
I don't need glasses, I need an answer...

Anyway...
The next thing I knew I was in a park, sitting on a very broken bench with a lot of unconscious squirrels around me...
My clothes are all stretched out and I'm covered in tinsel.
I also hear a lot of sirens and there is an odd smokey smell in the air...
Curious...
Anyway, I'm gonna have a sandwich and maybe I'll go back later, because aside from this bent up pipe I was chewing on, I apparently forget to buy anything.

So please don't judge those of us who are grinchish too harshly... It's hard to be a greasy cat in a crate of hot buttered porcupines...
Especially when you constantly have to hear 100 cover versions of what amounts to basically six standard song by every celebrity that has ever existed...
Geez... I'm feeling tingly again just thinking of it...

Anyway... I better eat.

Laterz zall.
 
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Miss B

Drawing Life 1 Pixel at a Time
CV-BEE
:rofl: I'm soooooo glad I wasn't drinking or eating anything while I read that. Then again, I'm so used to your long posts, I'm always wary about drinking or eating while reading them. :D
 

Satira Capriccio

Renowned
CV-BEE
Contributing Artist
Grinch I am too!

This is exactly why I no longer listen to the radio. Between monotonous Christmas music beginning before Halloween and annoying morning show hosts, I'd rather drive in silence than turn on the radio.

Not that I have to anymore since I listen to Audible books.


Fake Fact ... I divorced my ex because he always had to have the tv on, even if he wasn't watching it.

True Fact ... I actually do like a few Christmas songs. Unfortunately, I'd rather not hear them ten times in an hour.
 

Miss B

Drawing Life 1 Pixel at a Time
CV-BEE
This is the time of year I like popping in some of my fave music CDs, so I don't have to listen to the radio.

Of course, a good many of the networks are showing nothing but holiday movies, most of which I could do without. It's amazing how early they start showing them as well. Don't Radio and TV programmers know the Xmas season doesn't start until AFTER Thanksgiving????? ~sheesh~
 

Mythocentric

Extraordinary
We have a HomeBase in Preston which is mostly built of green glass. Never been in because even passing it makes me feel seasick! :unsure:
 

Miss B

Drawing Life 1 Pixel at a Time
CV-BEE
Well, the weather was fine today, but . . . we had an earthquake just before 5:00pm East Coast time. It didn't last very long, maybe 2 or 3 minutes, and the shaking was so minor, I wasn't even sure what I was feeling as I sat here in front of the computer. The last time we had an earthquake 3 or 4 years ago, it was quite obvious what it was, and several things were shaking on the walls. Not so this time.

I just read in the NY Times online that it was a 4.1 magnitude, and originated in Delaware, but was felt from Virginia north to Connecticut, and as far west as most of Pennsylvania. Thankfully, no damage was reported. I'm sure it felt much stronger in Delaware, Virginia and Wasghinton D.C.
 

Satira Capriccio

Renowned
CV-BEE
Contributing Artist
Phillymag reported:
Our own Victor Fiorillo was at his home in Overbrook when he abruptly felt the power of Mother Nature. “I was in my bedroom and all of a sudden the walls and floor started shaking,” he says. “I thought for a second that the washing machine was going nuts and then it got louder and stronger. That was insane.” I felt my own place in Graduate Hospital shudder as well. Did you?
Read more at All of Philly Right Now: “Did You Just Feel That Earthquake?”

I'm also in the Overbrook area ... probably only blocks from this guy, but I felt and heard nothing.

I must live in a better constructed building than he does :wink:
 

McGyver

Energetic
It's the washing machines... Once they connect to the Internet, they start doing stuff... Them and the Roombas...
No IOT stuff for me...

That earthquake that cracked the Washington monument a few years back was felt here on Long Island... I was walking down the deck steps and thought I started feeling dizzy because it felt like the steps were moving... Then I looked at the kid's pool and the water was sloshing about, and I figured out what it was... It was weird because you couldn't feel it on the ground.
Not the first tremor I've felt, I believe NY shares the same fault line as PA... ?
The water movement was really weird and kinda scary cool...

I hope you guys don't get anymore tremors and are done with the shaking.
 
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