The Anchorage, Part 3

[McGyver]

I was gonna ask where Lorraine went to...
Of course I could have read back a bunch of pages to see if she mentioned anything...
But I preferred to invent a story, for the time being.
So far all I've got is Lorraine got bored one day and decided to look around under her boat for that bottle of wine which fell overboard a while back...
While she was down there, she found an ancient artifact that turned out to be a sort of key to the gates of Atlantis... So after recovering it and the bottle of wine and a novelty backscratcher she also found down there, she finished off the wine and embarked on a long journey across the pacific to find Atlantis.
Little did she know, she was being pursued by her long time nemesis Dr. Thaddeus D. Oom and his legion of incompetent henchman.
When she finally got to Atlantis, Dr. D. Oom trapped her in a... I dunno... All I'm coming up with right now is an old telephone booth... I'll work on that...
But anyway, he trapped her in there and stole the artifact which was actually only the map/homing device... It turns out that the backscratcher was actually the key...
So far, I've got her about to open the gates...
Who knows what she will find behind the gold and gem encrusted doors?
Oh... Whatever it is she has noted there is an interesting smell of bacon coming from the other side...
I really couldn't come up with much.

 

[Miss B]

Thanks McG, you always manage to put a smile on my face.

 

[Mythocentric]

I do tend to get worried when our Boss Lady isn't here to keep us in check. Best wishes and happy days Lorraine!

 

[quietrob]

Isn't Atlantis located in that other ocean? I think it's called THE ATLANTIC!

And I want my back scratcher back. It cost me 79 cents at the Dollar store.

 

[Mythocentric]

Wish I could get stuff for under a £ at our local £ shop but everything costs a £ there! Damned profiteering if you ask me!

 

[Miss B]

And I want my back scratcher back. It cost me 79 cents at the Dollar store.

~ROFL~

 

[Satira Capriccio]

Welcome almost back, Lorraine!


The best part of being in a hole is climbing out of it. Though, it can also be the hardest part of being in a hole!

I've been in a few of them during my life. Fortunately, most of the holes disappeared after my divorce Though, I encountered a couple really seriously deep and dark ones in the first several years after my divorce. Men can really do a number on you!

 

[StudioMartillo]

Isn't Atlantis located in that other ocean? I think it's called THE ATLANTIC!

Not anymore quitrob. Atlantis was moved back to the Antediluvian World when Disney closed the theme park.

 

[McGyver]

Isn't Atlantis located in that other ocean? I think it's called THE ATLANTIC!

And I want my back scratcher back. It cost me 79 cents at the Dollar store.

Well, yes...
Technically the original Atlantis, a Bronze Age Minoan settlement called Akrotiri, located on the island of Santorini in the Aegean Sea, is...
Well, sort of was...
Until it kind of exploded.
The Aegean is connected to the Mediterranean and that is connected to the Atlantic...
But that Alantis, which was only called Atlantis by Plato because he couldn't secure licensing rights to "Akrotiri", for his dialogues "Timaeus" and "Critias"...
That Atlantis was destroyed by a volcanic eruption when cat hair clogged the geothermal power generators which an advanced civilization of cats from outer space had built for the Akrotirians...
It's all very complicated, involved Tuna and is explained in more detail in my memoirs...
But, I'll spare anyone reading this, those details...
The other Atlantis which if you believe Edgar Cayce when he wasn't clairvoyantly refining Atomidine, was located in the Atlantic, somewhere in the Caribbean Sea...
And despite it not adhering to his predictions of rising from the sea in the 1960s, did in fact, if you are inclined to believe Kerzner International Resorts and Brookfield Asset Management, arose from a 141 acre plot of land on Paradise Island in the Bahamas in 1998.
But that was only an ocean themed resort and adventure park built to house a family of wealthy and influential dolphins who were addicted to being groped by tourists.
That Atlantis, oddly enough was built over the subterranean remains of an ancient Akrotirian amusement park and resort named Mew, which was built by a bunch of hybrid earth/extraterrestrial cats trying to gloam off the success of Akrotiri's water park inside the dormant volcano on Santorini.
Mew, which was destroyed in a totally separate series of explosions which I won't bore anyone with the details of, suffice to say it involved a lack of thumbs and territorial marking on urine sensitive reactor equipment.
Mew, the earth feline word for "Pacifica" was a bold example of just how bad some ancient cats were with geography and more often then not was confused with the mythical lost continent of Mu, which if you have faith in James Churchward's mapmaking skills, was located in the Pacific Ocean.
As you can see, the similarities between Mu and Mew and the association with the pacific, confused many ancient mariners and tourists.
Mu, which wasn't lost or a continent, was in fact an island and it's name was a misspelling of "Moo", which technically means "Atlantica".
The Mooians... Or Mooese... Eh... People of Moo, petitioned the minister of tourism to rebrand/rename the island from "Lauwiliwilinukunuku'oi'oiwiliwililooloolumpikunukhumuhumunukunukuäpua'a", an ancient Polynesian word for nothing but gibberish, which apparently was the winner of the island's original "Get Drunk And Name Our Lovely Island" contest.
Being that the original name of Lauwiliwilinukunuku'oi'oiwiliwililooloolumpikunukhumuhumunukunukuäpua'a, didn't really didn't fit on many travel posters very neatly, after a very brief period of time, the inhabitants decided to have another naming contest to find a shorter more attractive name for the island.
Unfortunately the island had a huge alcoholism problem and the naming contest happened to occur during one of the island's many Mardi Gras-like festivals and when everyone woke up on Monday, they found that the island had been named "Moo", apparently by a cow, or someone associated with dairy farming.
Not wanting to push their luck with another naming contest, they chose Moo, since it was easy to pronounce and could fit on travel posters in huge fonts.
The idea was a success and the island was eventually purchased by a consortium of hybrid cats for the sum of ten tons of tuna and two hundred jet skis.
The cats stuck with the island's name, which still sounded a lot like Mew when they said it, but they instead implied it meant "Atlantis" because they were still a race of cats that were really bad at geography.
Eventually the island was built up into a fantastically advanced civilization which was one of the wonders of the ancient world for exactly six weeks before it caught fire, burned to the ground, broke in two, exploded and sank to the bottom of the pacific, where only its "Chamber of Fantastic Secrets" attraction managed to survive and remain accessible from an emergency transport chamber located in an underwater cave off the Bikini Atoll in the Marshall Islands.
Which incidentally was the site of the U.S. Government's failed attempt to kill the giant Decapus guarding the cave, by using an atomic bomb.
This just made the Decapus bigger, angrier and gave it the ability to shoot lightning from its mustache.
Decapuses have mustaches in case Wikipedia overlooked that.
That and the ten legs are what distinguishes them from their tasty relatives the Octopuses, or more correctly "Octopodes", as the Greeks would say.
And in that poorly named Chamber of Fantastic Secrets is were I last had Lorraine using the backscratcher of the gods/magical key, which you correctly pointed out is still to this day available in many Dollar stores and tourist traps worldwide.
I hope this wasn't overly long or lethally boring...
I left out a lot of details I'd normally include in my other writings, but I felt it was a lot more unnecessarily informative then just saying "yeah, you got a point there", which technically, I'm incapable of doing.

 

[StudioMartillo]

McGyver; You forgot to mention that the Mayan Queen Moo was named after this fantastical Island, from whence came her ancestors, on the unlucky month of Zak, which resulted in the fall of Mayan rule and near destruction of their civilization. But as you say, it's all very complicated.
I eagerly await your render of Hybrid Cats on Jet-Skis.

 

[McGyver]

I really haven't done much non work related anything on the computer in a while...
I really feel like doing something fun... cats on jet skis sounds fun...
But I don't see me doing that anytime soon.
Too many other physical projects to complete now that it's warmer weather...
Grrf... Not looking forward to tomorrow...
I really beat the hell out of both my shoulders this evening...
Trying to fit in actually mowing the grass between everything else, I tried to outrun a thunderstorm and lost.
Heading back in the downpour to the spot in the back of our property where I leave the tractor, the mower deck hit a tree root and the damn thing came to a complete dead stop.
It's not super fast, maybe 10-12 mph top speed, but I was totally not expecting that... It feels like all the force went into my upper arms and shoulders...
The thing that's really annoying is I mowed that same spot fifteen minutes earlier.
Maybe the ground got soft or the squirrels boobytrapped it...
This is gonna hurt tomorrow.
Today was actually a pretty crummy day as I've been getting cut and bruised all day and nothing is going right... I cut a whole bunch of wood to all the wrong dimensions...
All because I read the wrong cutting list from another project.
I hate when I get disorganized and stuff like that happens.
I think I'm gonna just have a few beers and vegetate for the rest of the evening.

Sorry to be complaining.

 

[StudioMartillo]

OK McGyver, I will have to do it myself. First I will make a new model: SM_Cat_Ski, scaled for the Hive-Wire Big Cat, then put it in Poser and do the render. I'll try to find some Mew Islands to put in the background. Or maybe a shot of the Yucatan. And please don't do any more work. It's undignified!

 

[quietrob]

@StudioMartillo My god no. McGyverism is catching. It's like watching an episode of Ancient Aliens.

 

[Seliah (Childe of Fyre)]

@StudioMartillo My god no. McGyverism is catching. It's like watching an episode of Ancient Aliens.

Ancient Aliens... funny you should mention that... it took me forever to get my daughter to understand that we could not even be in the same room as that nonsense without laughing our heads off at the foolishness of it... LOL

McGuyverism on the other hand.... there are much worse things to catch!

 

[StudioMartillo]

Quite Rob; I already did it. There was going to be a new prop called Bum-Go, for M4, only the Mew Island Cats sounded like a lot more fun. So everybody wins 'cause now there's a new prop for Hive-Wire Animals.
YO McGYVER...
Get off that killer tractor and hop on a Jet Ski DOOOD. The Big Cats are waitin' for ya on Litte Mew Island.
I'll make the SM_CatSki available pretty soon. Have to get it packaged. And some poses for the Hive-Wire Big Cat too.

 

[quietrob]

Not only is that a fun render that keeps your word, it's also so sad as the cat on shore looks like he (she?) wants a turn. I guess it's true. Every cat wants to jet ski!

 

[Miss B]

A very fun render SM.

 

[StudioMartillo]

The cat on shore is worried about the one on the Cat-Ski. It's their first Cat-Ski.
But they can have as many as they want now because they're available here.

 

[StudioMartillo]

If you think I'm pulling your leg about Queen Moo, well, check this out. Queen Moo's Talisman
Epic Poetry, You'll also find, if you read the poem, that not all of McGyver's raving is nonsense.
And also that just because it comes in a Can, don't mean it's tunafish.

 

[McGyver]

That's awesome... And amazingly accurate!
Do you know Professor Watanabe?
I suspect you may have traveled with her at some point, for you to have captured so accurately the look of that particular model of jet ski...
Well, I raise a tall frosty glass greevlik to you sir!
Okay... It's just a warm bottle of Guinness, as greevlik isn't available on earth yet, but it's as close as you can get...
If you shave a bit of turnip into it and chew a sassafras twig as you chug it...
It's not the same, but close...
Sort of...
If you decide to try that... I warn you... it's an acquired taste.
But once again, awesome model and nice render!