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I'm here....

Shellyw

Shellyw

Admirable
QAV-BEE
Contributing Artist
just in case anyone missed me :)

So I went MIA for a bit, the holidays are pretty much when I flake out a bit. Just going to let you all know why I disappear for those few months and be straight forward and stop hiding.

My mother passed away in 2005 of a heart attack and we buried her on Thanksgiving Day. I miss her a lot and thanksgiving is just not the same and never will be without her.

The worst though is on Decemeber 13, 2013 I lost my 18 year old in a car accident, he would have been 21 years old on Jan. 24th this year. He was my baby boy and I thought the worst day of my life was when my mom passed away suddenly but to tell the truth the day the hospital called me telling me my son had been involved in a accident and driving 3 hours to get there to find out he had died at the scene is a parents worst nightmare. A parent should never outlive there child, ever.

Just recently I ended up in the ER , husband thinking I was having a heart attack only to learn I actually having a severe anxiety / panic attack and diagnosed with depression as well. So doctors prescribed me with some meds . I have been taking them and they have been helping me a bit.

So here I am and I am glad to be back.
 
Sunfire

Sunfire

One Busy Little Bee
QAV-BEE
Contributing Artist
Glad you're back and I could wish the holidays weren't so sad for you.
 
Pendraia

Pendraia

Sage
Contributing Artist
:grouphug: Glad you're back Shelly and sorry to hear that holidays are so hard for you. Depression can be a tricky thing...take care of yourself.
 
sanbie

sanbie

Noteworthy
Contributing Artist
Awww Shelly how horrible for you...I understand fully why you loathe this time of year...people say it gets easier with time...maybe it does...slightly...but it never leaves you...and for that I am sad for you...I do hope things improve as I am sure your Mother and your son would want you to look forward and try not to think too much of that time...Hard I know...
My heart goes out to you...
Welcome Back:flowers:
 
Lorraine

Lorraine

The Wicked Witch of the North
Shelley, I'm glad to see you back and so understand why you go MIA. Grief hurts, depression sucks and panic attacks...that's just too much. Big hugs :grouphug:
 
Miss B

Miss B

Drawing Life 1 Pixel at a Time
CV-BEE
Welcome back Shelly, and I for one have missed you, though I already knew why you were MIA.

As everyone has said, losing your loved-ones is never easy to get over, and it will take time, but your friends are here to help you get through it. It's most definitely good to see your smiling face back here at the Hive. :)
 
Alisa

Alisa

RETIRED HW3D QAV Director (QAV Queen Bee)
Staff member
QAV-BEE
You bet your boots we missed you, Shelly!

Like Miss B, I knew why you were MIA (and am sending more hugs your way to add to those I've already sent), and I so understand how death of loved ones around the holidays makes it hard..yours is still very new, which makes it even harder. I'm so glad you have gotten some meds to help you through and I hope you hang on to friends and family who love you as well!

I want to also give you huge hugs and kudos for sharing this. When you share things like this I think it can help you - because it will show you that there are people who care (even if they've never actually met you). AND it can help others, who may have gone through and be able to share similar issues of their own THEY deal with. And that can help you again by knowing that you aren't alone.

I'm another for whom holidays are hard because of loss around that time of year. Not as recent (mine was as a young person not quite out of her teens), and not losing a child (which I agree just goes against nature, and has got to be one of the absolute worst losses :( ). To be very honest, I'm always breathing a sigh of relief "thank goodness it's OVER" after the holdays end.

I think there are several things that make the holidays so hard - the sadness that the loved ones aren't there to share this with you, and the fact that just about everyone around you expects people to be EXTRA happy and cheerful.

Anyway, so glad you're back, my friend!!

:grouphug:
 
Miss B

Miss B

Drawing Life 1 Pixel at a Time
CV-BEE
Well said Alisa. I often keep these kinds of posts short, mostly because I don't trust myself to not get too maudlin, so thanks for expressing exactly what I was feeling.

:grouphug:
 
Satira Capriccio

Satira Capriccio

Renowned
CV-BEE
Contributing Artist
Welcome back Shelly. Yes. You were missed.

Yeah. It doesn't help at all that society expects you to be happy on the holidays.
 
Shellyw

Shellyw

Admirable
QAV-BEE
Contributing Artist
Thank you all for the welcome back and even bigger thanks for the wonderful hugs and support.
 
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