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The Anchorage, Part 3
- Thread starter Lorraine
- Start date
McGyver
Energetic
We have an abundance of raccoons if anyone needs some.
These ones are good at hanging sheetrock, small engine repair and nuclear medicine...
Mostly they like to hang out in trees and eat garbage but they have pretty good hobbies as mentioned above.
It's sad to see a raccoon dead on the highway... That's why we have helmet laws around here.
But you can't force them to wear their helmets and it's just a matter of time until they crash their tiny motorcycles.
I think Bruce Springsteen had a song about that...
Not all raccoons are vicious... Fat Vinny was a very gregarious raccoon who used to hang out around here.
The first time I met him was on the patio one night...
I was arguing with someone on the phone and I opened the back storm door with my foot... Some might say I kicked it open, but it only looks that way if you are unfamiliar with how I open things like doors and windows.
Vinny was on the patio being a fat raccoon and we startled each other...
But instead running away, he just gave me a kind of Joe Pesci/Robert De Niro "Aye, I standin' here ya mook... Watch it!", hand gesture...
They have amazing little hands... They can even flip you the bird if they get annoyed.
But anyway, I ignored him and he went back to doing raccoon stuff and after I hung/shut off the phone, he came back around to see what was up.
Fat Vinny was a fairly interesting, if not somewhat fat raccoon and was mostly too dignified to rob trash.
He was always going on about that "Big score", but you never saw him in trash cans.
Mainly because around here we have heavy duty 90 gallon wheeled trash barrels that most raccoons can't open.
Lazy people tend to overstuff their trash sometimes, but more squirrels will raid those than raccoons.
Fat Vinny used to hang out and keep me company by hanging out in the doorway of my shop outside.
I'd discuss politics and history with him and occasionally share a beer with him.
He never brought his own though... But that's okay, he was good people... Er, raccoon.
Anyhow he was always going on about that big score and how he wanted to see Cozumel, maybe retire there.
Then one day someone knocked over one of those Boar's Head delivery trucks making a late night run at the supermarket.
They never found the truck and I never saw fat Vinny again.
I imagine he got his "big score" and is fixing up an old sailboat on an out of the way beach somewhere in Mexico.
Well, at least he didn't become an ordinary shnook like he always feared.
I get the thing about escaped pets turning into pests.
A couple of years back there was a kangaroo that was robbing liquor stores out here.
Sad it was to see such a noble creature turn to that.
These ones are good at hanging sheetrock, small engine repair and nuclear medicine...
Mostly they like to hang out in trees and eat garbage but they have pretty good hobbies as mentioned above.
It's sad to see a raccoon dead on the highway... That's why we have helmet laws around here.
But you can't force them to wear their helmets and it's just a matter of time until they crash their tiny motorcycles.
I think Bruce Springsteen had a song about that...
Not all raccoons are vicious... Fat Vinny was a very gregarious raccoon who used to hang out around here.
The first time I met him was on the patio one night...
I was arguing with someone on the phone and I opened the back storm door with my foot... Some might say I kicked it open, but it only looks that way if you are unfamiliar with how I open things like doors and windows.
Vinny was on the patio being a fat raccoon and we startled each other...
But instead running away, he just gave me a kind of Joe Pesci/Robert De Niro "Aye, I standin' here ya mook... Watch it!", hand gesture...
They have amazing little hands... They can even flip you the bird if they get annoyed.
But anyway, I ignored him and he went back to doing raccoon stuff and after I hung/shut off the phone, he came back around to see what was up.
Fat Vinny was a fairly interesting, if not somewhat fat raccoon and was mostly too dignified to rob trash.
He was always going on about that "Big score", but you never saw him in trash cans.
Mainly because around here we have heavy duty 90 gallon wheeled trash barrels that most raccoons can't open.
Lazy people tend to overstuff their trash sometimes, but more squirrels will raid those than raccoons.
Fat Vinny used to hang out and keep me company by hanging out in the doorway of my shop outside.
I'd discuss politics and history with him and occasionally share a beer with him.
He never brought his own though... But that's okay, he was good people... Er, raccoon.
Anyhow he was always going on about that big score and how he wanted to see Cozumel, maybe retire there.
Then one day someone knocked over one of those Boar's Head delivery trucks making a late night run at the supermarket.
They never found the truck and I never saw fat Vinny again.
I imagine he got his "big score" and is fixing up an old sailboat on an out of the way beach somewhere in Mexico.
Well, at least he didn't become an ordinary shnook like he always feared.
I get the thing about escaped pets turning into pests.
A couple of years back there was a kangaroo that was robbing liquor stores out here.
Sad it was to see such a noble creature turn to that.
Lorraine
The Wicked Witch of the North
Fat Vinny made it down here to NZ. Unfortunately for him MAF (Ministry of Ag and Fish) got all bent out of shape, arrested him, seized his boat, put him in a cage and donated him to the zoo. They put him on a diet and he's called Skinny Vinny now. Sucks to be prohibited fauna sometimes.
Lorraine
The Wicked Witch of the North
NZ doesn't have were-ferrets but we have plenty of were-possums; little sods swam over from Orstralia and made themselves at home; you know you have an infestation when you hear them 'cack, cack, cacking' on the roof. One climbed up the mooring rope and made himself at home on the back deck eating the basil, didn't like the baseball bat nudge to his midriff and swam away cacking and complaining. The basil was never the same again.
McGyver
Energetic
Which basil... Rathbone, Basil Hayden, Basil of Onomagoulos or the plant?
Can't be Hayden, he'd have been drinking that and probably wouldn't have swam so well afterwards...
Besides, I don't picture you having large stocks of liquor on deck unless the hold was full and you had taken to smuggling.
Though, a few racing yachts have been used for that sort of thing in the past, you are more of a secret agent if I recall.
I don't really picture you digging up or purchasing online, the stolen corpse of Basil Rathbone even if you are a big fan of his...
And storing his remains on deck is decidedly unsafe as the salt air is terrible for desiccated corpses, not to mention how they attract possums and seagulls...
There is a slight chance you may have been smuggling some Byzantine artifact containing the head of Basil of Onomagoulos and had accidentally left it open to go take a phone call only to find the sea possums had gotten into it.
You did say you like history...
Severed heads from the Byzantine empire are all the rage these days amongst history buffs...
But still...
I'll go with the plant...
Stupid possums.
Anyhow... In addition to the secret agent backstory I gave you a while back, I'm adding seafaring Indiana Jones style artifact smuggler...
Mostly heads for now... But let's see where I go with this later.
Oh, and by the way...
Hi Lorraine! I hope everything is going well!
Can't be Hayden, he'd have been drinking that and probably wouldn't have swam so well afterwards...
Besides, I don't picture you having large stocks of liquor on deck unless the hold was full and you had taken to smuggling.
Though, a few racing yachts have been used for that sort of thing in the past, you are more of a secret agent if I recall.
I don't really picture you digging up or purchasing online, the stolen corpse of Basil Rathbone even if you are a big fan of his...
And storing his remains on deck is decidedly unsafe as the salt air is terrible for desiccated corpses, not to mention how they attract possums and seagulls...
There is a slight chance you may have been smuggling some Byzantine artifact containing the head of Basil of Onomagoulos and had accidentally left it open to go take a phone call only to find the sea possums had gotten into it.
You did say you like history...
Severed heads from the Byzantine empire are all the rage these days amongst history buffs...
But still...
I'll go with the plant...
Stupid possums.
Anyhow... In addition to the secret agent backstory I gave you a while back, I'm adding seafaring Indiana Jones style artifact smuggler...
Mostly heads for now... But let's see where I go with this later.
Oh, and by the way...
Hi Lorraine! I hope everything is going well!
You would be correct sir, Lorraine likes to grow her own herbs.
Swam...be honest some bugger over there pinched some and you've been complaining about it ever since...
Good to see you Lorraine...
We I can tell you its 8c in Wellington (not sure where you are ) My heater doesn't work so I've got my big fluffy robe one and my hubby's robe around my legs, was thinking of going to get the blanket but I'm too cold to move (might when I start busting to go to the loo, but at the mo to cold for that too )
) My heater doesn't work so I've got my big fluffy robe one and my hubby's robe around my legs, was thinking of going to get the blanket but I'm too cold to move (might when I start busting to go to the loo, but at the mo to cold for that too )
We're under an excessive heat warning until 8pm tomorrow night. Temperatures in the mid 90s (F) and dewpoints in the upper 60s/lower 70s, which translates to heat indexes between 100 and 105 F.
In a nutshell. Hot as Hades, and Muggy as a Swamp.
In a nutshell. Hot as Hades, and Muggy as a Swamp.
Dreamer
Dream Weaver Designs
Im hamilton so a bit more north, but not any warmer I would say lol. I need to go do dishes but its even colder in the kitchenWe I can tell you its 8c in Wellington (not sure where you are
Dreamer
Dream Weaver Designs
You can keep the Muggy as a Swamp bit but I'll take the Hot as Hades part