...from my HiveWire family, but before I tell you what's going on with me I need to ask that you don't relate any horror stories from your lives… I ended up in the ER last Friday with a severe anxiety attack stemming from what happened to me last Wednesday at a new dentist's appointment where I went hoping to have one little eye tooth that was broken fixed. What happened in that appointment sent me spiraling into the worst anxiety attack I'd ever experienced. I have to admit I suffer from severe anxiety-I have all my life.
I chose the first dentist I had been to in 15 years from an elaborate high-end website. One main reason was that she had an entirely private suite for all aspects of dentistry for those who are "suffering from severe fear of going to the dentist, to those people who are celebrities wanting complete privacy". The front office people were genuinely nice and comforting when I initially called. At any rate once I got there (thank God my son not only took me there, but also came into the room to be with me and listen with his "dentist smarts" experience)
I got all the x-rays and photos taken… And then the young rather "California yuppie-ish dentist lady (who had gone to Tufts University and had a good educational background) came in… And that's when my world turned upside down…
While she showed me the photographs/x-rays of my extremely deteriorated teeth, she began telling me that my diet was all wrong and I had to change it or my teeth would continue to deteriorate. (Keep in mind that my health is extremely complex, fragile, and my doctor calls me "a case of one". And my diet is one that I devised to be the best possible one, with the only foods that my gut can tolerate and I am literally unable to change it) this woman would not listen to me, she didn't even hear me as I tried to tell her about my situation. She just showed me how many teeth were so close to needing a root canal and in an almost angry voice told me I would need a release from my doctor and she would have to know absolutely how long I could tolerate reclining in "the chair" with my bad back because "I Cannot Stop in the Middle!" She told me I also had to have this fancy blood test to tell her what kinds of materials for fillings etc. that my system would be the most compatible with.
My son was sitting there (keeping in mind that my son and I have been somewhat estranged for many years and I didn't even realize how much experience he had with dentistry between he and his wife) was studying the pictures and listening carefully and I could tell that he knew what he was seeing in the films/x-rays. The dentist lady gave me no other option than a long series of sessions to repair the most difficult to repair problems, harping on how much I would have to bend my neck and lay back, as they are hard to reach etc.
By this time I was so emotionally overwhelmed by the information I was getting, which was a complete shock to me, because my teeth have been one of the only strong parts of my body left. I could hardly take it anymore. I couldn't think straight and my anxiety was beyond measure. We left there and tried to find a lab that would do that type of blood test she wanted and went to three of them. Two said they didn't do it at all and the third one which she actually had recommended was a very New Age- holistic place, where it was too late in the day to have that type of blood test done and picked up by FedEx to go somewhere… So we left to come back to my house.
I will say that something very very good has already come from something very very bad-and that is the door that opened between my son and I for having a relationship that we both actually badly wanted. I discovered just HOW wonderful a person my grown son is, in that he is extremely calm, patient, steady and reassuring. And yes I do often tell him how proud and amazed I am at the person he's turned out to be! His wife is very similar and the most loving mother to my two granddaughters as I'd ever want-wish I had her for my mother growing up! (I have emotional damage nearly beyond repair from my mother, and my childhood).
At any rate it was my son and his wife who drove 300 miles (my sons high-end tech job is one that entails a lot of driving and it's nothing to him to drive that far, thankfully) came down in the wee hours of Friday morning and took me to a Scripps hospital ER where I wanted to go, because of the nightmare of being in a county hospital just a few years back, via ambulance. I arrived at a very clean and quiet and efficient ER, being taken into an individual room (one with a door, not just a big room with curtains between people!) within 5 minutes of arriving.
I ended up with a charge nurse drawing blood and starting liquids so efficiently that I never felt a thing, even with my flat worn-out veins! And then a doctor came in who was so wonderful I wanted to put him in my pocket and take him home. He listened attentively to all my answers to his questions and then said he was going to give me some Ativan via my IV. In just a few minutes the anxiety and nausea (I'd been quite ill vomiting and dry heaving all night) was gone and I had fallen asleep. He gave me a few Ativan and said to contact my doctor (who I knew already had privileges in the Scripps system). I was finished and sent home within a couple of hours.
That evening my ex husband/friend came over after the kids had gone home and we sat talking a while. What he brought up gently and carefully with me was the option of having all of my troublesome teeth removed and resorting to dentures. This would allow me to have it all over with in just a few visits and be free of continual anxiety over teeth that will never be better again. He was a bit perturbed that the dentist didn't even offer this solution. He said he suspects she just didn't want to do it because I would never need a dentist again and she wouldn't get enough income from me. While rather horrible option (having all my teeth removed and dentures) I am open for it although a little bit anxious about being put under… I know now that I have a support system in my son and daughter-in-law. But I'm back at square one needing to find a dentist, and an oral surgeon who will care enough to accommodate my particular needs.
Where I live in North County San Diego dentists are a dime a dozen-nearly on every corner because everyone wants to live in San Diego… So there are a lot of them, many of which aren't very good and it's nearly an impossible task trying to figure out who to go to. I haven't been able to get a recommendation. My son spoke to his dentist who is the type I would want to go to but I can't physically make that trip and he can't be driving back and forth that many times… And his dentist doesn't know of anybody down here. Meanwhile my doctor called me (and he is not the most sympathetic character himself) and warned me against taking Ativan unless I wanted to give up both of the other medications that are the only ones that work for my syndromes health problems… So I am having an extremely difficult time in life right now.
Because of this I am reaching out to family and friends more than I ever have done in my life (usually I don't want to bother anybody). Within those connections I've now had an experience with "that power" that is "God"… Between one very close friend who is deeply Christian and another who is "the mother of my heart"- I've become her extra daughter- (she's my ex's mother of Japanese descent who meditates) - these two souls made a connection with me that was utterly amazing, as I was suddenly surrounded by a tangible presence of that energy!
Oh and I want to let you know that my good friend I spoke to told me all about his "gnarly old aunt" who had no teeth at all and went without dentures-eating more stuff than I would ever eat and talking all the time to anyone who'd listen… And this suddenly gave me the realization that I have A Choice! Especially with the soft foods that I eat! I am still the captain of my own ship, but I had recently felt that I wasn't, and that lack of control is pretty terrifying.
Today I'm going to try calling an oral surgeon who has very good reviews and I think a lot of private closed rooms for patients… I don't have a referral except the situation I just went through with the aforementioned dentist lady, but I will call and see what kind of response I get from the office manager. My son said always ask to speak to the office manager, making sure she has a little time available to speak with me before telling her my situation.
So now I've come to you all to let you know what's going on with me and ask for your love, encouragement, good thoughts and prayers from whatever belief system or feelings of that sort that you have, to help me find my way through this frightening time in my life.
Thank you for listening as I know that you do care,
Lyne
I chose the first dentist I had been to in 15 years from an elaborate high-end website. One main reason was that she had an entirely private suite for all aspects of dentistry for those who are "suffering from severe fear of going to the dentist, to those people who are celebrities wanting complete privacy". The front office people were genuinely nice and comforting when I initially called. At any rate once I got there (thank God my son not only took me there, but also came into the room to be with me and listen with his "dentist smarts" experience)
I got all the x-rays and photos taken… And then the young rather "California yuppie-ish dentist lady (who had gone to Tufts University and had a good educational background) came in… And that's when my world turned upside down…
While she showed me the photographs/x-rays of my extremely deteriorated teeth, she began telling me that my diet was all wrong and I had to change it or my teeth would continue to deteriorate. (Keep in mind that my health is extremely complex, fragile, and my doctor calls me "a case of one". And my diet is one that I devised to be the best possible one, with the only foods that my gut can tolerate and I am literally unable to change it) this woman would not listen to me, she didn't even hear me as I tried to tell her about my situation. She just showed me how many teeth were so close to needing a root canal and in an almost angry voice told me I would need a release from my doctor and she would have to know absolutely how long I could tolerate reclining in "the chair" with my bad back because "I Cannot Stop in the Middle!" She told me I also had to have this fancy blood test to tell her what kinds of materials for fillings etc. that my system would be the most compatible with.
My son was sitting there (keeping in mind that my son and I have been somewhat estranged for many years and I didn't even realize how much experience he had with dentistry between he and his wife) was studying the pictures and listening carefully and I could tell that he knew what he was seeing in the films/x-rays. The dentist lady gave me no other option than a long series of sessions to repair the most difficult to repair problems, harping on how much I would have to bend my neck and lay back, as they are hard to reach etc.
By this time I was so emotionally overwhelmed by the information I was getting, which was a complete shock to me, because my teeth have been one of the only strong parts of my body left. I could hardly take it anymore. I couldn't think straight and my anxiety was beyond measure. We left there and tried to find a lab that would do that type of blood test she wanted and went to three of them. Two said they didn't do it at all and the third one which she actually had recommended was a very New Age- holistic place, where it was too late in the day to have that type of blood test done and picked up by FedEx to go somewhere… So we left to come back to my house.
I will say that something very very good has already come from something very very bad-and that is the door that opened between my son and I for having a relationship that we both actually badly wanted. I discovered just HOW wonderful a person my grown son is, in that he is extremely calm, patient, steady and reassuring. And yes I do often tell him how proud and amazed I am at the person he's turned out to be! His wife is very similar and the most loving mother to my two granddaughters as I'd ever want-wish I had her for my mother growing up! (I have emotional damage nearly beyond repair from my mother, and my childhood).
At any rate it was my son and his wife who drove 300 miles (my sons high-end tech job is one that entails a lot of driving and it's nothing to him to drive that far, thankfully) came down in the wee hours of Friday morning and took me to a Scripps hospital ER where I wanted to go, because of the nightmare of being in a county hospital just a few years back, via ambulance. I arrived at a very clean and quiet and efficient ER, being taken into an individual room (one with a door, not just a big room with curtains between people!) within 5 minutes of arriving.
I ended up with a charge nurse drawing blood and starting liquids so efficiently that I never felt a thing, even with my flat worn-out veins! And then a doctor came in who was so wonderful I wanted to put him in my pocket and take him home. He listened attentively to all my answers to his questions and then said he was going to give me some Ativan via my IV. In just a few minutes the anxiety and nausea (I'd been quite ill vomiting and dry heaving all night) was gone and I had fallen asleep. He gave me a few Ativan and said to contact my doctor (who I knew already had privileges in the Scripps system). I was finished and sent home within a couple of hours.
That evening my ex husband/friend came over after the kids had gone home and we sat talking a while. What he brought up gently and carefully with me was the option of having all of my troublesome teeth removed and resorting to dentures. This would allow me to have it all over with in just a few visits and be free of continual anxiety over teeth that will never be better again. He was a bit perturbed that the dentist didn't even offer this solution. He said he suspects she just didn't want to do it because I would never need a dentist again and she wouldn't get enough income from me. While rather horrible option (having all my teeth removed and dentures) I am open for it although a little bit anxious about being put under… I know now that I have a support system in my son and daughter-in-law. But I'm back at square one needing to find a dentist, and an oral surgeon who will care enough to accommodate my particular needs.
Where I live in North County San Diego dentists are a dime a dozen-nearly on every corner because everyone wants to live in San Diego… So there are a lot of them, many of which aren't very good and it's nearly an impossible task trying to figure out who to go to. I haven't been able to get a recommendation. My son spoke to his dentist who is the type I would want to go to but I can't physically make that trip and he can't be driving back and forth that many times… And his dentist doesn't know of anybody down here. Meanwhile my doctor called me (and he is not the most sympathetic character himself) and warned me against taking Ativan unless I wanted to give up both of the other medications that are the only ones that work for my syndromes health problems… So I am having an extremely difficult time in life right now.
Because of this I am reaching out to family and friends more than I ever have done in my life (usually I don't want to bother anybody). Within those connections I've now had an experience with "that power" that is "God"… Between one very close friend who is deeply Christian and another who is "the mother of my heart"- I've become her extra daughter- (she's my ex's mother of Japanese descent who meditates) - these two souls made a connection with me that was utterly amazing, as I was suddenly surrounded by a tangible presence of that energy!
Oh and I want to let you know that my good friend I spoke to told me all about his "gnarly old aunt" who had no teeth at all and went without dentures-eating more stuff than I would ever eat and talking all the time to anyone who'd listen… And this suddenly gave me the realization that I have A Choice! Especially with the soft foods that I eat! I am still the captain of my own ship, but I had recently felt that I wasn't, and that lack of control is pretty terrifying.
Today I'm going to try calling an oral surgeon who has very good reviews and I think a lot of private closed rooms for patients… I don't have a referral except the situation I just went through with the aforementioned dentist lady, but I will call and see what kind of response I get from the office manager. My son said always ask to speak to the office manager, making sure she has a little time available to speak with me before telling her my situation.
So now I've come to you all to let you know what's going on with me and ask for your love, encouragement, good thoughts and prayers from whatever belief system or feelings of that sort that you have, to help me find my way through this frightening time in my life.
Thank you for listening as I know that you do care,
Lyne
. So glad your son was there with you, and that IS a bright spot!
