AlphinaNovaStar
Energetic
I lost my grandma last month. It is still hard for me as I miss her a lot. I could not have gone to the funeral due to transportation problems and cost. I will miss her forever it seems.
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Lost my grandma in December
- Thread starter AlphinaNovaStar
- Start date
Sorry to hear that too.
December was a rough month for a few of us
December was a rough month for a few of us
AlphinaNovaStar
Energetic
Yeah December was rough in many ways for me. Other than not working on Sunday's I have worked almost everyday since thanksgiving.
McGyver
Energetic
I'm sorry that your Grandmother passed away and you were not able to attend the funeral... I totally get how hard that can be.
When my Father passed away when I was about 14, he was living in Italy and his stupid wife (he remarried) never informed me of his death... It took a little over a year for my father's best friend to realize that I was never notified... But at least when my Mom died ten or so years later, my step dad informed me bluntly as I was coming in the door, wondering what the ambulances and cop car was about... The first thing he said was "Mom died"... He is often bereft of internal monolog and the ability to not say the first thing that comes to mind... so I suppose that zero lag in notification somehow made up for the previous yearlong gap... I don't blame him, he has always been like that... and it has given me many amusing anecdotes to share... Also, many years later when my mom's mother died (the only Grandma I really knew), it took the rest of the family almost a year to remember I existed and that nobody told me... and pretty much the same with one of my uncles... I'm starting to think people don't want me at funerals.
I can see why to some extent... it has always been a thing amongst my friends and I that when one of us croaks, we try as best we can to not be sad and to celebrate that person in a festive and or stupid manner... not to say my family could ever have know about that, but I'm long over that.
I know you probably feel bad about not being able to get to the funeral, but to be honest that is not important... it is the love you had for your grandmother that counts and not whether or not you traveled to see her off... think of how often people travel for funerals but even though they say their goodbyes, they are not really there in spirit... I'm sure its far more important to her that you loved her and know she loves you and have happy memories of her and the times you shared. I think in the end that is all that really matters... we are the sum of the love and sharing we bring to the lives of those we love and care for... as long as that remains, as long as that love and caring is propagated through us passing on and sharing the good memories, happy times and lessons we learned... then that part of us lives on. In that way, regardless of what one believes of an afterlife, that loved one will always be with us.
Be well AlphinaNovaStar.
When my Father passed away when I was about 14, he was living in Italy and his stupid wife (he remarried) never informed me of his death... It took a little over a year for my father's best friend to realize that I was never notified... But at least when my Mom died ten or so years later, my step dad informed me bluntly as I was coming in the door, wondering what the ambulances and cop car was about... The first thing he said was "Mom died"... He is often bereft of internal monolog and the ability to not say the first thing that comes to mind... so I suppose that zero lag in notification somehow made up for the previous yearlong gap... I don't blame him, he has always been like that... and it has given me many amusing anecdotes to share... Also, many years later when my mom's mother died (the only Grandma I really knew), it took the rest of the family almost a year to remember I existed and that nobody told me... and pretty much the same with one of my uncles... I'm starting to think people don't want me at funerals.
I can see why to some extent... it has always been a thing amongst my friends and I that when one of us croaks, we try as best we can to not be sad and to celebrate that person in a festive and or stupid manner... not to say my family could ever have know about that, but I'm long over that.
I know you probably feel bad about not being able to get to the funeral, but to be honest that is not important... it is the love you had for your grandmother that counts and not whether or not you traveled to see her off... think of how often people travel for funerals but even though they say their goodbyes, they are not really there in spirit... I'm sure its far more important to her that you loved her and know she loves you and have happy memories of her and the times you shared. I think in the end that is all that really matters... we are the sum of the love and sharing we bring to the lives of those we love and care for... as long as that remains, as long as that love and caring is propagated through us passing on and sharing the good memories, happy times and lessons we learned... then that part of us lives on. In that way, regardless of what one believes of an afterlife, that loved one will always be with us.
Be well AlphinaNovaStar.
AlphinaNovaStar
Energetic
I miss her. Some days are harder than others. Today is one of them. I wish I could cry the pain away.
Wise words, McG.
I understand that. I think crying is healing, but the pain is something that only eases with time. And some days definitely are harder than others. I still miss people (and that little pup in my avatar) who died long long ago, and still cry for them.
Hang in there, alpha.
Very wise words from both McGyver and Alisa...Wise words, McG.
I understand that. I think crying is healing, but the pain is something that only eases with time. And some days definitely are harder than others. I still miss people (and that little pup in my avatar) who died long long ago, and still cry for them.
Hang in there, alpha.
Desertsilver
Busy Bee
As healing sets in, it helps me to do things to honor lost beloved friends and both my grandmothers. I make my farm/wife grandma's famous blackstrap molasses cookies ( you can share 'em with your horse), and grow her treasured cannas. For my city granny- I plant her favored sweet peas, bake lemon valentines cookies, and re-read her favorite Narnia book ( The Horse and his boy )
I hope you are hanging in there, and maybe finding things like these to do will bring you comfort.
I hope you are hanging in there, and maybe finding things like these to do will bring you comfort.
AlphinaNovaStar
Energetic
Her birthday would be coming up. April 2nd would have been her birthday
sorry sweetie! big hugs!